There are things that I could tell you that would make your toes curl and your hair turn white…
There are things that I could tell you that would make you wonder and even give you a fright…
There are things I could tell you that will make you run to mommy and cry all night…
Because had you not wasted time on making your perfect mould. And had you not wanted me to be as good as gold. You will have noticed it was all true what you were told.
There were no lies from your little spies. It was all true what they saw with their beady little eyes.
I’m not perfect and I’m no angel. I’m not going to be part of your idealistic world or your pawn. I am who I am and I stand proud and loud to say “I am! oh I am! the devils spawn.”
I’m fed up with those conversations you hear between people. One starts talking and the other will say “yeah yeah I read all about it on fb” that just kills the conversation.
Fb really has killed the art of conversation between people. It’s like there is nothing left to talk about anymore because everybody already knows your business, even people who you didn’t think read your wall, do. They know more about you than you do.
I know social networks do serve a genuine purpose but I personally do believe they have taken over people’s personal lives too.
Gone were the days gossip was passed word of mouth and bitching was done behind closed doors. Now if you don’t have a fb you’re left out and don’t fit in.
It’s almost used as a reference to every conversation one is having. Either it was on Facebook or you’re told to check fb first before you can be part of the main topic at hand.
So nowadays it’s update yourself on fb goings on and then try to be part of a social circle… Oops sorry fb is the social circle.
Even your priest follows you…
This pic reminds of those times you see someone’s profile picture and think “WOW!!!! This person looks super hot/sexy” instantly your curiosity and interest is triggered. You send a friend request on FB or add them on twitter or google+. You can’t wait to talk to them finally they accept your request or you accept theirs if they had already sent one. Then you decide to take a closer look at their photo albums (because you just have to see more of this person) and feel the wind going out your sails.
Why do people do this? Put up amazing super awesome profile pics. Then put up albums of themselves that look nothing like their profile pics? Are you following me?
So what if one day the camera was kind to you and made you look like a film star/pop star/model… It isn’t really you!! You are leading people into an illusion that only leads to disappointment.
Either keep the illusion going that you are looking freakingly awesome and post pics of that calibre inside your profile as well… or… Just post pictures of where you look normal and the camera captured your natural normal everyday look and not your film star look. Then people like me won’t have that build up and let down that we get when we click on you.
Maybe I’m being a bit over the top but this is really starting to annoy me. Got it off my chest now so feel much better already 😉
YaaayyyYYyyy It’s true my blog is 1 years old today. And what a year I have had!
It truly has been awesome and a truly amazing experience. When I started blogging it was just really to prove a point but as time went on I realised that this was something truly special and something that I could do and make a success of it.
My success isn’t in my stats but more so in the people I have I met here and what I have learned on this eye opening journey not just about the world and people around us but also about myself.
I have ranted and raved here, laughed hysterically and also shed a few tears (it’s true!) But the biggest lesson I learned in all of this is that I’m not alone with these feelings and thoughts, there are others who feel the same way as I do and think like me too.
As time has gone on I feel my blog has become more personal and I’ve realised the more personal I’ve become the more followers I get. It was hard at first writing about personal things but slowly slowly it I’ve been able to open to you people and the positive feed back, words of encouragement and advice has been brilliant and well worth it. I wouldn’t change it for the world.
So here it is I am 1 years old today…
Hundreds of people were asked to “describe your own job in one sentence, preferably in a humorously derogatory way.” Here are the best replies taken from hundreds…
- Read things that don’t matter, then write papers saying they do matter, for points that don’t matter, in order to get a job doing something totally unrelated: Student
- Take numbers on pieces of paper, rearrange them and put them on different pieces of paper: Tax Accountant
- Explain big words to sales people and then cower before customers while trying to convince them that the sales people really didn’t say what the customers understood: Customer Solutions Engineer
- Learn laws created ages ago so that I can tell engineers why I’m smarter than they are while complaining how it’s a travesty that they get paid more: Physics major
- Show you innovative ways to burn money in the spirit of patriotism: Fireworks Stand Manager
- Help people lie consistently to their bosses: Business Intelligence Consultant
- Teach your kids enough to complain but not enough to make a difference: College Teacher
- Pass poisonous gas on command: Research Assistant in solid state ammonia storage
- Make people who are already filthy rich somewhat richer by duping poor people into buying stuff they don’t need: Corporate Software Engineer
- Find as many synonyms for “explosion” as possible: Novelist for Teenage Boys
- Supervise the guys and gals who try to protect the good people from the bad, only to be hated by the good people AND the bad: Police Sergeant
- Make corporate propaganda feel like folksy truthisms: TV Ad Director
- Manage waste recycling, promotion & sales: Antiques Dealer
- Arrive after the battle and bayonet all the wounded: Auditor
- Sell gas: Energy and Telecom Business Analyst
- Tell forty year-old men it’s okay to behave like fourteen year-old school girls: Printing Press Production Coordinator
- Provide arcane information on a need-to-know basis: Chief Accountant
- Shepherd clients through the process of setting their products on fire: Consumer Products Tester
- Manage urban renewal and pest control: B-52 Bomber pilot
- Persuade kids that it’s really fun being wet, cold and scared out of their minds: Sailing Instructor
- Draw up plans for something that will not be built according to those plans: Civil Engineer, Transportation Design
- Teach kids to be evil…or so they say: Video Game Creator
- Ensure that stupid people stay in the gene pool: Lifeguard
- Spend most of the day looking out the window: Pilot
- Wear a tuxedo and smash metal plates into each other: Musician
- Go to strange people’s houses and take their money: Pizza Delivery Boy
- Sell gluttony: Cinema Concession Stand Attendant
- Tell people that they can’t spend money they thought they had: Government Analyst
- Take pictures of the unlucky and the stupid: X-ray Technician
- Profit from the misfortunes of others: Cops and Courts Reporter
- Take a simple two-way promise and turn it into several complicated one-way promises which neither side can understand or hope to fulfill: Lawyer
- Bring a little rain into the lives of flood victims: Government Debt Collector
- Have people spend far more than they estimated: Building Inspector
- Make sure nothing ever happens: IT Security
- Move things from one tube to another: Microbiologist
- Try not to kill the baby: Housewife
- Misinterpret the universe: Astronomer
- Be a human napkin: Stay-at-home mom of three
- Run away and call the police: Security Guard
- Copy and paste the Internet: Student
- Help people hate each other: Divorce Lawyer (Scott Adams’ favorite)
- Stand on a field and get yelled at for hours: Baseball Umpire
- Talk in other people’s sleep: College Professor
- Call people who know what they’re doing and ask them what they’re doing: Incident Manager
- Show people how beautiful the Earth would be without them: Mountain Landscape Photographer/Climber
- Make people feel bad about their work: Quality Assurance Tester
- Repeatedly fix what you repeatedly break: IT Director
- Clean up an animal that makes more money then me in a year: Assistant Horse Trainer
- Write words that no one wants to read: Technical Writer
- Make food that is as healthy before it goes in your body as when it comes back out: Fast Food EmployeeTaken from the internet 😛What’s your job description?
Thought this was really funny as I do love my diet coke… 😛