Haven’t been on in a while as you guys will have noticed. Life just took a different direction. I also ended up in this Facebook group and ended up running it. Now I own my group which kinda keeps me busy too. I’m gonna be here more often because my head is full of so much stuff that I need to talk about.
A million ways to say goodbye and I sadly walked away
Couldn’t bear to see the sorrow or a tear fall from your eye
Think of me happy with fond memories and a time I made you smile
Maybe not today or tomorrow I understand it could take a while
I won’t turn round to look I’ll carry on walking I won’t let you see my pain
I won’t answer the phone we won’t be talking don’t call again
Best you don’t reach out and no messages to you I’ll send
Let’s pretend we never happened there was no us then there will be no end….
You bloodsucking leeches
Sons of Zionist bitches!
You took my brother
You took my father
How dare you touch my mother!
How dare you pull her scarf
Kick her till she falls hard!
Please don’t cry
The pains gone now
But why have they tied my hands?
I can’t hug you mommy
They took my pretty dress mommy
They’ve made me wear the white one
Mommy you said they’d pay
Is this their way?
Wait till I tell Allah what they are doing
Wait till I tell Allah about the bombing
Don’t cry mommy it doesn’t hurt no more
But I can’t move mommy
Mommy I can’t see you
The dirt on my face
I’m scared mommy?
Can’t you mommy hear my cries?
Why you saying goodbye?
Are we to meet in that beautiful place
The one you called paradise?
Mommy don’t cry I’ll wait for you there
Holding the gates wide open like a thousand others there
They are all waiting for their mommys too
There’s so many of us
And they say more are coming soon…
“I look around me and see the bloodshed the violence and I can smell the fear and the pain. I cover my ears to block it out but the images dance in front of my eyes, the dead babies won’t go away. Ya Allah when did this become my norm? When did the screams at night become ok? The smell of blood become permanent? The martyrs are of this nation are in abundance. Have we earned our place in paradise? Is it time for us to go? Is this how you will take us? I await death willingly just to be embraced by you ya Allah to feel safe in your arms. No more mother’s cries at night for their dead men and babies.
They have taken my home my family my everything but they haven’t taken my faith in you ya Allah. I still believe in you my lord, that’s one thing they can never take. Please please please let me be with you soon. Open the gates of paradise or hell for me because anything and I mean anything is better than this”
When life gives you a few knocks we get up brush ourselves off and get on with it. But once we are knocked down again and again, getting up each time becomes more and more difficult. Our spirit becomes broken, egos become deflated and our heart begins to lose hope. Where do we go from here? How do I cope or survive? But there’s that little thing inside you that never gives up, you know as long as you’ve got a little bit of fight left inside you, it’s enough to keep getting you up and keep you moving on.
One of the greatest supports are the people around you. While it may be difficult to reach out to someone, somehow there’s always that one person who reaches out to you, without even trying or knowing. It’s like the most natural thing in the world them just being there holding you up with their own spirit and strength. Their one sentence can hold more power than the words of a hundred people. An emotional connection is born without you even realising it. A physical connection becomes trivial as the mind and heart starts to bond. Soon before you know it, in the crowd that’s the only person you see, everyone else just falls away. It’s only them you hear calling your name, talking to you, smiling laughing with you. No one else exists in your thoughts or mind. Wherever you turn or look they are there with you every step of the way. Sharing every waking moment with you and then in every sleeping moment too. Stepping into your dreams like they belong there, being everything you needed and wanted them to be. Consuming you, intoxicating you, becoming you. You wake up as one, sweet smiles cross your face for the rest of the day and you can’t wait once again to fall asleep and be theirs again and they yours. It’s in your dreams you dream dreams. And when you’re awake your reality becomes a dream. Before you know it they are your every step, breath, every thought and every waking moment.
When did they seep into your blood and sweat? You can hear them, smell them, feel them,yet it’s only their spiritual presence you’re intoxicated by and you are not your own anymore. You belong to another without giving yourself, planning it or wanting it. What’s happened to you? Do you even know? Do you realise you are glowing? Smiling? Laughing? What’s happened to you? they ask and some just tell you. Your shyness shows and you feel coy. You need a private moment to collect your thoughts and you wonder could it be true or even possible that this is happening to you. And you start to think and remember those little moments when with each word and gesture they touched your heart and began to melt it and mould it with their own. You panic a little, you fear a little that you’ve lost control lost yourself and didn’t even know it. You try to compose yourself but your heart is beating with joy and it takes over all your fears and thoughts and you know your heart is now in control. You know it’s pointless trying to fight this or think logically. And do you want to? No you don’t. You’re loving this feeling now of belonging somewhere being someone’s and not feeling alone.
And the most beautiful part is they don’t know yet that the beauty shining within you and the warm glow in your heart is because of them… Your journey into the abyss isn’t complete, no not yet. Your story is incomplete!
I think love came knocking on my door
He said hi I’m about to become your life
Your thought your every waking moment
I’m gonna run through your blood and ride you like crazy
You will be mine and only mine my sweet baby
I slammed the door shut locked him out
He didn’t bang on the door or give a shout
Simply laughed and said
I’m in you now and you can’t lock me out!