Sometimes one of our biggest mistakes in life is caring too much. I never thought I’d find myself saying this, but here I am.
Many don’t deserve the time and effort you put into the relationship you have with these people. All the signs are there that this person isn’t invested in you as much as you are in them. But you continuously ignore it. Forgiving, forgetting and moving on. Till finally you realise you can’t take anymore. Enough is enough.
The worst part is trying to learn how to stop caring…
It seemed no matter how hard I tried I just couldn’t get rid of Rosie. I thought that I should’ve just killed her off.
Raj acted smitten with her and would continuously message her. Truth was he was curious because was suspicious of who she was. There were times he was convinced it was me.
My own relationship with him was rocky to say the least. We would go weeks ignoring each other and when we did speak it was like the distance and time just fell away. He wanted it all, he truly did. He justified his flirtatious ways as him just being friendly. I’d let it go and say the same back when he’d have an issue with me being “over friendly” with my Facebook “mates” After all why should we have double standards. If it’s good enough for him it’s good enough for me. There was no joy in it but at times I felt like I was fighting a losing battle.
That was Facebook for you. Sometimes we become trapped in our own games.
Zia and I were getting closer and closer. Lazy chats about anything and everything. He opened up about his marriage and family. He truly was unhappy and I was right she was a control freak. She controlled everything including the finances, which later became even more obvious.
He asked about Raj and I told him that while things were ok our backgrounds were a huge issues to our families. So he would be finishing his studies and be moving abroad. Once he did I would defo fly out to meet him. That was the plan.
Zia one day confided he didn’t like the fact Rosie and him were friends. Well I replied not much can be done about that. It’s a free world.
By now because I avoided Neema as much as possible she wasn’t happy. I’d keep rejecting her friend request and one day I noticed her and Raj had become friends on Facebook then Zia too.
I wasn’t amused and I let it be known. Raj had a flippant attitude. He said they are Rosie’s friends. She’s told me all about them. Do you know how filthy they are he said. They want her to be his second wife. You he said should keep away from them.
When I spoke to Zia about it his answer was. I’m just here to make like minded friends and pass my time. I said why Raj? I rather you didn’t. He says he seems like a nice guy. Must be if you and Rosie are friends and Neema too. I’d like to get to know him better.
#secretdiariesofhim part 9
One day Neema kept calling Rosie and just wouldn’t give up. Eventually I had to take the call.
She was asking how I was and why I hadn’t been in touch. I tried to explain things were quite hectic here plus I didn’t have much to say. I told her I felt Edinburgh was a different world a different lifetime away that didn’t exist no more for me. (Wish she would just take a hint)
She said well Rosie you may have forgotten us but Zia sits with your picture daily and stares at it. He says it feels like it was taken just for him. I tried to make a point of not asking how he was. But she was clearly on a mission.
Do you know she said Aneesa messages Zia all the time. They chat about anything and everything. She then proceeds to tell me about conversations we had had. I was not just gobsmacked but could feel my blood boiling too.
Was he telling her about our conversations? But the way she was talking it was almost like she was reading them out to me. I was not amused. She was mocking and making fun of thoughts and feelings that were being shared in private conversations. How dare she! How dare he!
These people were a joke. She was a joke everything to her was just a piss take. I was beginning to wonder did she take anything seriously.
Later on when I spoke to Zia again I asked him who has access to your Facebook account he said nobody. I asked him does your wife read our messages and again he said no. He asked why. I replied, I spoke to Rosie today and she seems to know that we chat and has details of our conversations which seem to have come from your wife. How come your wife has details of our private conversations? He acted dumb and said he didn’t know. Complete utter bullshit.
It certainly put Zia in a new light to me almost a wuss a man with no privacy. Things were starting to click into place. He was her muppet she pulled the strings she controlled him. He didn’t have a say in anything. He’d found a friend in Rosie. Somebody who valued him and treated him like a human. No wonder he fell in love with her instantly.
She would brag about how good he was at cleaning and cooking. Now I realised its because she herself does nothing. She would sit on Facebook all day and do nothing around the house. He would come in from work and then get on with the housework. My heart went out to him but at the same time I realised this was a very screwed up couple. Anyone else would run a mile.
I was intrigued.
For two weeks we didn’t speak on the phone. Neither of us. I pretended I was at my dying fathers bedside. As sad as it was and drastic and sick it was the only thing at that time that could get me out of it. Talk about creating your own problems.
Both had been messaging offering support but so far I’d avoided getting into a conversation with them.
Meanwhile guess what Zia had done? He’d befriended me on my own account. I accepted his friend request and we had started chatting. With Rosie now out the way I thought maybe I can start again but I was deluded. One thing I quickly realised Zia was deeply in love with Rosie. He wasn’t himself and seemed very down.
He after some days slowly started opening up about her. He was missing her badly and was worried for her. In the back of my mind I always thought this was a wind up but what I didn’t think was true was his feelings for Rosie. He’d fallen for her big time.
We had some deep conversations and shared a lot in a short space of time. He one day said will you add my wife to your Facebook. I asked why. He said it will just make things easier. I refused. I didn’t want Neema as a friend. I’d had enough of her as Rosie. Plus I know she’d insist on chatting on the phone which was too risky.
Zia was too loyal to Rosie to insist on phone calls. He wanted to know how I knew her I sad through Raj she’s his friend. He told me eventually that Rosie wanted him to leave Neema and marry her. Which wasn’t true he’d misinterpreted what I had said as Rosie. He said leaving his wife was completely out of the question and he was disappointed that Rosie had even suggested it.
Oh well I thought. Best you start hating her coz she ain’t ever coming back.
But as Rosie I had to call them because ignoring them wasn’t an option not after all their messages and knowing they were worried. But I was also ready to finally lay all this to rest. I’d done the ground work. I told them in a conference call my father had passed away I wouldn’t be returning to Edinburgh. I had to stay here and look after my mother and siblings. Therefore I can no longer marry you plus I’d already told you I can’t be a second wife. In reply Neema said I’m sending Zia to pay his condolences. I said don’t bother because when he turns up I have no way to explain who he is.
I was getting annoyed now, these two just didn’t know when to back off. Zia was acting like a wet blanket on the phone. I cut the call short and decided I wouldn’t be talking to them again as Rosie.
Meanwhile Zia was getting closer and closer to me on my own account and for a moment I thought I’d pulled it off. I’d got Rosie out the way. No more lies and deceit. Huh who was I kidding.
I seemed very lost and agitated at this point. I wanted to keep the friendship but it was getting too serious and intense. Basing any relationship on lies is never a good thing and right now I was feeling the weight of my mistakes. I needed to get rid of Rosie and maybe let them get to know me, Aneesa and start all over again. Maybe be proper friends. But hell who was I trying to kid.
By now Raj was insisting on chatting on the phone with Rosie and he wanted to see her on camera. But how could I? As soon as I did he would know it’s really me. All the more reason to get out. He was already suspecting Rosie was me for these reasons and a few others. He kept insisting Rosie reminded him of me. Zia had said the same thing too and had even gone far enough as to send a friend request to my own account. He’d tried to initiate a conversation which so far I had ignored. It was too close for comfort.
I phoned Zia one day and told him that as much as I want him (shush it’s part of my plan) I don’t think I could be a second wife. He went very quiet. I continued. I went on and said I’m not asking you to leave her I know you won’t and can’t but I also know I can’t share you. I could tell he wasn’t happy and he wasn’t saying much either. I decided to cut the call short.
I thought right that’s enough to make them both realise that these plans are too silly and too far fetched. Second wives don’t come that easy and certainly not in the form of a sassy young rich girl in the middle of her studies.
When I spoke to Neema a few days later she never mentioned my convo with Zia, it was clear he hadn’t told her. Which kinda pissed me off a little. Her plans were still full steam ahead.
I messaged him and asked why does she still think everything is normal. (Normal 😏) he replied I don’t want to break her heart she really likes you and is excited about visiting.
My heart sank realising he’s more twisted than her. What the hell was going on here! I really needed to think. No matter what I said or did I thought that crazy couple would turn up here anyway. I had a feeling he had told her then again maybe not.
Ok I knew what I had to do, a little drastic but enough to get me out of this mess. I sent a message to Neema and Zia.
” I have a family emergency my father has been in a car accident it’s really serious I have to go home”
Things with Raj weren’t going great.
If you remember I originally made the Rosie account to trap him. Well it had worked.
I had just placed myself in the right places on several mutual friend accounts and pages and boom he’d taken the bait. A few messages followed by a friend request.
Same dialogues and same behaviour followed by I love you bla bla bla. So just to be really evil I told him I’ll tell Aneesa everything your upto. He was in a panic and begged me not to. I was enjoying seeing him squirming. So just to annoy him more I sent myself a friend request and on her wall we started having a laugh. 😂 yeah it was daft talking to myself but hell I was enjoying it.
Neema and Zia asked me whose Aneesa and I replied she’s just a friend but Zia was taking a great interest in Aneesa. Which made me slightly uncomfortable. I was beginning to think that perhaps it was time to close the Rosie account and get rid of them altogether. But how? Especially after Neema announcing they were visiting. I was starting to feel trapped.
They had only seen fake pics of me and they were under the impression I was boarding in Edinburgh at uni. In truth I was living at home in Glasgow with my family.
Also why on earth would I want to see them? This was getting way to out of hand now.
Her plans were too freaky. She had a sister in Manchester so her plan was to first visit Edinburgh. Leave Zia with me for a few days (so we could get to know each other better) while she visited her sister. Zia was super excited by this and started making plans of his own for those few days. Insisting I’ll be staying at his hotel with him.
He was bringing chocolate sauce 🙈 amongst other things we had fantasised. I said it will be more fun if your wife is tied up in the corner watching. He goes that can be arranged 🙊🙊 the idea! Uffff!!!
Anyways back to reality! Yes no point getting carried away when it isn’t going to happen. I had to stop them coming and had to find a way to get rid of them completely. Regardless of their pushy freaky nature I actually did like them. They were funny and great to talk to.
Rosie kept calling and asking what shall she bring for me. She was telling me things she had already bought. I was getting more and more panicky and keeping my cool with them was getting harder and harder.
I had to do something and a plan started to form…
As the days went on Zia and I got closer and closer. I realised we had much in common and really enjoyed each other’s company. We could talk about anything and everything. He struggled to find that with his wife.
He said Neema was suffering from depression and recently hadn’t been keeping too well. Some gyno problems that caused a lot of bleeding. (Which she mentioned too) his issue was their sex life was non existent.
She said the same thing. Even as going as far as saying they thought she had cancer. All she wanted was to be sure that Zia was happy and she didn’t mind a second wife. She said they had discussed it often and she didn’t have a problem because she knew he would be fair. She also said her only demand was that it be someone that she could get on with.
So in my head what’s starting is a realisation that if she’s talking about cancer etc and they’ve been discussing this for years then they truly must be serious about this because even he insisted she was being serious and he truly wanted this.
She would call all excited about looking at condos and apartments for me. I would gently say to her that there’s plenty of time I still have a few years of study but nothing deterred her.
The question I started asking myself was this possible? Could I move there to live with them? Could I be a second wife? The answer truly was no. I did like him but no I hadn’t fallen for him.
We had our moments where in texts or on the phone we would get carried away. We indulged in fantasies of Neema watching us while we made mad passionate love 🙈 Something about that really turned me 🙊 on and clearly him too. Sometimes I’d be really nasty to her in those fantasies and we loved it 😈
Anyways moving on (yes that’s enough for now) 😝
She on the other hand had her moments too. She would tell me about things he liked doing in bed and would say “don’t worry you won’t have any issues in that department” some will find this weird but the conversations just seemed so natural and an extension of everything else she would talk about.
One thing I should let you guys know they introduced me to their kids as their friend and very often they would come on the phone and say hi. Sometimes resulting in some nice chit chats. Their youngest daughter was a special needs child too. One of the reasons why she said she was accepting of a second wife rather than separating was due to her needs and the help they needed looking her.
So as you can see I slowly started believing their story and I was getting sucked right into their idea of being that second wife. I didn’t know where this was leading to. I was trying to figure it out myself. Because by now Zia was in love with me and hurting him was the last thing on my mind.
Then about a month into the friendship/relationship Neema calls me. She says I have some great news. We are coming to visit you in the summer!
My blood ran cold just listening to her all excited about the impending trip. She had it all planned out. The details were mind boggling…