Can You Deal With Someone Else’s Pain?

Very often when we put walls up around us it’s to protect ourselves from any more emotional pain. We close ourselves in and tie ourselves up in padlocks and chain. 

It’s when we can’t bear anymore and don’t want anymore to deal with. Those walls keep everyone out and very often it works. It’s easier to block people out and keep them from touching your raw wounds inside.

There is always a reminder there of what you are burying deep inside you. And why do we bury things rather than deal with them? Is it because it’s easier and a cowards way out? Or is it just too painful?

Many a time our emotional pain is too much to deal with and if we are to function in a normal society and get on with life we need to bury it. There is no time to stop and deal with our issues and many a time we need to.

When you are told to pick yourself up and make yourself busy and get on with life. While it may work for some and that’s exactly what they need, for others it’s not. There is a time line for everyone and it’s different for each individual.

Some things need to be dealt especially if you are mourning or trying to get over a major issue in your life. When we block things out and bury them deep we are just buying time, eventually these things will come to bite you on the ass.

But anyway this is nothing new and I think most of you know all this. What I want to really talk about is the people who come along in your life and want to be let in. The ones who want to break down these walls and strip back everything to see the depths of those bleeding wounds gushing with ooze from your tortured soul.

Just because you want to be close to someone and need to be close to them, you ask them to let you in and when they refuse you try to knock those emotional barriers down that have been put up. When that doesn’t work you then slowly slowly start to chip away subtly to get in, just for your own satisfaction. 

Don’t get me wrong I bet some of  you have good intentions, but have you ever stopped to think if this person isn’t letting someone in they may also be trying to keep something from getting out?

When those walls are put up very often it’s not to keep from letting others hurt you again but those walls very often keep in a lot of emotions and pains aswell. Things that can’t be dealt with, things that require energy that you don’t have. Things that you need to face up to yet find it too painful to even think about. 

And when you start chipping away at those walls you release the vapours that resemble volcanic gasses. More chipping starts the slow simmering of an eruption that will eventually proceed to an explosion that you yourself probably weren’t expecting and before you know you will have a full Krakatoa on your hands. Nothing you are equipped to deal with or planned on dealing with. 

You think you have an emotional head case on your hands and regret getting involved. Or simply you are not interested in someone elses problems and prepare to run. Not realising that she/he wasn’t an emotional basket case until you activated the sleeping bomb. Poked and prodded till you got a reaction from them to confirm that you had got into their head and heart. That you had reached that level deep within where are there is something that is best left alone. 

When you see the lava of overflowing emotions you will wonder what the hell happened and want to run a mile and you probably will. But listen…

While you are wearing out your jimmy choos/las coste trainer trying to outrun those lava of emotions do please remember that next time you try to get into someone’s head and heart be prepared for the escape of compressed gasses of emotions.

If you don’t have the stamina or maturity to be in such a relationship then it’s best you keep out. Don’t manipulate someone for your gains without thinking of the consequences because if someone is not letting you in it’s because there is no room for you at the Inn. Not because it’s full but simply because you don’t belong amongst the baggage that already sits there. 

Remember when you knock and there is no answer dont try to sneak in through the back door, just leave well alone and walk away. 

Sometimes It’s Kind To Be Cruel

One of my favourite childhood stories told to me by my favourite uncle. It’s quite a popular one and has some great underlying tones and lessons to learn.  One of them is that one should not be so greedy and second one is that sometimes we have to be cruel to be kind.

Once there was a man who liked to eat mangoes. One day he decided to get the sweetest mango available, from the very top of the tree. Mangoes which are exposed to the sun the most are the sweetest.

So he climbed up to the top, where the branches were thin. He managed to pick up a few sweet reddish fruits, but, in an attempt to climb down, he slipped and started falling towards the ground. Fortunately, he caught the branch as he was falling and remained helplessly hanging on the tree. Then he started to call nearby villagers for help. They immediately came with a ladder and sticks, but could do little to help him.

Then after some time one calm and thoughtful person arrived – a well-known sage who lived in a simple hut nearby. People were very curious to see what he would do, as he was famous in solving many people’s problems in the area and sometimes very complicated ones.

He was silent for a minute and then picked up a stone and threw it at the hanging man.

Everybody was surprised. The hanging mango lover started to shout:
“What are you doing?! Are you crazy? Do you want me to break my neck?” The sage was silent. Then he took another stone and threw it at the man. The man was furious: “If I could just come down, I would show you.! ”

That’s what everybody wanted. That he came down. But how? Now everybody was tense, as to what would happen next! Some wanted to chastise the sage, but they didn’t. The sage picked another stone and threw it again at the man, even more forcefully. Now the man on the tree was enraged and developed a great determination to come down and take revenge.

He then used all his skill and strength and somehow reached the branches which were safe to start going down. And he made it! Everybody was amazed.

“Where is the sage?!” – exclaimed the rescued man. “Oh, he is a wise man. So he didn’t wait for you to beat him,”- said the villagers. “I will really smash him completely!” “Hey, wait a minute. He is the only one who helped you. He is the one who provoked you, who induced you to help yourself.”

The mango freak stopped for a second, thought for a moment and admitted: “Yes, all your good intentions and compassion didn’t help me. But he expertly induced me to give my best and save myself. I should be thankful and not angry that he used some very smart tactics to bring me down.  

What’s the caption?

Ok guys what’s the caption on this one… why is she slapping her?