Who are you really?

If we all could choose to be anyone we wanted to be who would we choose? Or what would we want to be? Or could we simply think “no this is who I am and I’m sticking with it!”

I recently came across something disturbing and realised that as much as we think we know someone how well do we know them? When we doubt their authenticity and its being denied do we trust our instincts or do we choose to trust the very person we doubt?

I think I knew from day one that all was not right. But decided to give the benefit of doubt. I didn’t really care to be honest. After all Internet friendships/relationships come with certain elements of fantasies and extravaganza. So what the hell if someone wants to pretend they are someone or something else.

But as time goes you get tired of the pretence. It gets to the stage you just want a little bit of genuineness and some honesty. For someone to just take your friendship seriously and respect you enough to reveal their true selves. To know and trust you when you say “I know, but it doesn’t matter, lets just be honest with one another”

Sadness is when they’re not ready or too scared to step out of the trap they find themselves in, to move into a genuine honest and unconditional friendship. What they don’t realise that eventually they too will tire of the pretence, lies, cover ups and fantasies and by then it will be too late they will have gone too far and too deep to turn back.

So what does that say about them or us? What sort of society do we live on where we fear to be ourselves and pretend to be someone else? Is it that we feel that we will only be accepted if we are beautiful/handsome, rich, desired or amazing?

I guess the Internet allows people to deal with insecurities in the worst way possible. Rather than trying to be ourselves many have found this medium to hide their true identities and live in a world that while appears fun and amazing you eventually realise its just a painful fantasy that will never come true and one u can never escape from. It’s heaven trapped in hell.

33 responses to “Who are you really?

  1. & you answered as well the dogma . . .

    “Is it that we feel that we will only be accepted if we are beautiful/handsome, rich, desired or amazing? ” . . . .

    yes, this is very much true in general . . . . . . & this is the reason why most ppl in this virtual world of fantasy try to pretend . . . . . . but this attitude is not limited to the internet, we practice it in the real life as well . . . as much as we can . . . . & it is b/c of this attitude, we tend to prefer those who are in less contact to us . . .means ppl who are nearest to us, we know truth about them . . . . while ppl who are not that much close to us fill color in our fantasy . . . in one way or other, being part of this internet world, we encourage this wrong attitude of pretence . .

    • Its tough when it’s someone close to you and you trust them with everything you have yet they are not ready to give anything up… not even a photo of themselves or even snapshots of the scenery of a so called holiday they have been to… or claim they have been to… If you say… look i know… it’s ok and i don’t care… trust me and let’s be proper friends and still they can’t step out of it then i truly feel somehow somewhere this person needs something more than just lies and fake friendships.

  2. This is thoughtful and disturbing. I’m sorry you’ve had this experience, but you seem well-equipped to deal with it.

    Let me say right away that I haven’t revealed much about myself here and not a great deal (beyond my poetic voice) on my own blog. But what I’ve revealed is true!

    Some people engage in fantasy games and the internet makes that much easier and safer. Sometimes this is mutual. For example, two men who are into cross-dressing might develop an internet relationship as two women, with each strongly suspecting, or even knowing, that the other too was a man. As you’ll know, the internet is full of people who invest a huge amount of energy in fictional internet identities (the Hindu term “avatar” has been adopted) and interact with other fictional identities, with everyone knowing the real person will be very different.

    Sometimes sexual predators assume identities for their own purposes, or sometimes just lonely people who think in their real identity they’d be ignored.

    When the other person does not realise there is pretence, it’s dishonest.

    You’ve analysed your own feelings about this well. Maybe one day this will be the basis for a novel or a play?

    God bless.

    • It is dishonest and downright unfair especially when you know the other person is being completely honest with you about everything. My last conversation to this person was a massive fight in which I was accused of all sorts. They became extremely defensive and threatening… all i could say was that I can prove everything I’ve told you about myself and have done…. but you have yet to prove or back up one single thing about yourself.

      What more can I say.

      I think a movie on this would be fabulous… I’d star in it myself lol

  3. Well Princess, I prefer to just be ME!🙂

    Yes, ugly, insane, friendly and kind all in one neat package – all I need is a ribbon tied in a neat bow!🙂

    People sometimes need to be a different person because they can’t handle being themselves.

    Me?

    I’m WYSIWYG – What You See Is What You Get!🙂

    Always remember not to give out personal details to anyone, trust your instincts and NEVER trust 100%!!!😦

    Love and hugs sweetheart!🙂

    Prenin.

    • You are just a darling Prenin and I don’t think i’ve ever met anyone who is so themselves. With you it’s all out there, you are so honest about everything it makes you more real than some people i know in real life… Don’t ever change…

      Huggzzzzzzzzzzz

      • Thanks hun!🙂

        I find being honest really screws up the bad guys – they can’t touch me!!!🙂

        As long as I live I will always try to be me – it’s easy and I’m so damned lazeee!!! LoL!!!🙂

        Love and hugs!

        Prenin.

  4. I think a harsh truth which goes some way to answering this question is, most of us are not rich enough, in many aspects of our life, to be other than a Utility. To take the rubbish out, do our job, till the field. The concept of self- expression for the mass of people comes out of economic liberation. Few enjoy that

  5. I think some find the need to cloud their identity, as so many on the internet seem on the lookout for vulnerable people, to take advantage kind of thing. I hope this experience doesn’t change your warm and loving outlook, my friend, never let any experience do that. Sometimes it’s better to just shrug and accept, it’s their choice and they have to live with the fallout. A wonderful weekend wish to you and yours. xPenx

    • Hi Pen I do value my on line friends just as much as value my real life friends. While it doesn’t change a lot of what I do it does make me weary of people i meet on line.. I find myself at times looking for signs of inconsistencies and start questioning stuff that sounds too good to be true.

  6. This is disturbing and am sorry you have to experience this so always remember don’t believe in what you can’t see or touch.

    Learn from your experiences and try to move on.

  7. Well, it will still make no difference if someone pretend to be someone or something else, everything will be still absurd and it will certainly always remain absurd.

    As the hindu’s saying that “Ab har dhooti pehnnay wala Gandhi torhi na ban jata hai”.

    And we’ve saying for such people in Pashto that “changing the cover on the donkey’s back doesn’t change the donkey” :p

  8. This is a great post. What resonated with me are these lines,

    ” So what does that say about them or us? What sort of society do we live on where we fear to be ourselves and pretend to be someone else? Is it that we feel that we will only be accepted if we are beautiful/handsome, rich, desired or amazing?”

    Do you really think this has anything to do with the society at large. I have recently written about the genesis of the “pretender self” in a post entitled ” The Mask.” I suspect you would find quite a few answers in that

    Shakti

  9. Lol, you have to realize that for most people the internet is like a second chance to start their life all over again. So of course everyone tries to be what they are not in order to make people like them more or gain some attention. It’s pretty standard

    • True I used to pretend to be a rich Egyptian princess in some chat rooms I used to visit… we all been there and done stuff for a laugh but if you have been friends with someone for nearly 2 years at what point do you come clean or how long can one carry up the pretense?

      • Why the pretense? Friends are supposed to be the ones who should know you or at least have a general idea what you are but even then it’s not really easy for some people to come clean about themselves.

  10. Pingback: NOT A FANTASY | hastywords

  11. We are the best as we are made….Trust me ! If in an way you start a new life all over, you will see the same pattern of everything similar to your previous life…..Ways and Paths change but destinations always remains the same !

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