Valentines Day

With Valentines day approaching I was thinking if I wanted to do a post on it. It would probably ended up as a rant anyway as I don’t really believe in it and never have done.

I just don’t think you need a special day to show someone you love them. What if that day you feel really awful or have fallen out or simply you don’t feel in a romantic mood or feeling the sentiment?

I’ve heard so many disastrous stories regarding this day and some good ones too. For me Feb 14 is just another day. Personally speaking I think being romantic is appreciating the person you love on a non occasion day. Like gifting them without reason, no birthday or anniversary.

Anyways that’s just me, not romantic at all. I read this story a few days ago and thought this is a special kind of love. Sometimes you just have to dig deeper or look carefully to see it. It’s not great romantic gestures but the little things that matter most.

My husband is an Engineer by profession, I love him for his steady nature, and I love the warm feeling when I lean against his broad shoulders.

Three years of courtship and now, two years into marriage, I would have to admit, that I am getting tired of it. The reasons of me loving him before, has now transformed into the cause of all my restlessness.

I am a sentimental woman and extremely sensitive when it comes to a relationship and my feelings, I yearn for the romantic moments, like a little girl yearning for candy. My husband, is my complete opposite, his lack of sensitivity, and the inability of bringing romantic moments into our marriage has disheartened me about love.

One day, I finally decided to tell him my decision, that I wanted a divorce.

Why?” he asked, shocked. “I am tired, there are no reasons for everything in the world!” I answered. He kept silent the whole night, seems to be in deep thought with a lighted cigarette at all times. My feeling of disappointment only increased, here was a man who can’t even express his predicament, what else can I hope from him? And finally he asked me:” What can I do to change your mind?”

Somebody said it right, it’s hard to change a person’s personality, and I guess, I have started losing faith in him. Looking deep into his eyes I slowly answered : “Here is the question, if you can answer and convince my heart, I will change my mind, Let’s say, I want a flower located on the face of a mountain cliff, and we both are sure that picking the flower will cause your death, will you do it for me?” He said :” I will give you your answer tomorrow….” My hopes just sank by listening to his response.

I woke up the next morning to find him gone, and saw a piece of paper with his scratchy handwriting, underneath a milk glass, on the dining table near the front door, that goes…. My dear, “I would not pick that flower for you, but please allow me to explain the reasons further..” This first line was already breaking my heart. I continued reading.

“When you use the computer you always mess up the Software programs, and you cry in front of the screen, I have to save my fingers so that I can help to restore the programs. You always leave the house keys behind, thus I have to save my legs to rush home to open the door for you. You love traveling but always lose your way in a new city, I have to save my eyes to show you the way. You always have the cramps whenever your “good friend” approaches every month, I have to save my palms so that I can calm the cramps in your tummy.

You like to stay indoors, and I worry that you will be infected by infantile autism. I have to save my mouth to tell you jokes and stories to cure your boredom. You always stare at the computer, and that will do nothing good for your eyes, I have to save my eyes so that when we grow old, I can help to clip your nails, and help to remove those annoying white hairs. So I can also hold your hand while strolling down the beach, as you enjoy the sunshine and the beautiful sand… and tell you the color of flowers, just like the color of the glow on your young face… Thus, my dear, unless I am sure that there is someone who loves you more than I do… I could not pick that flower yet, and die.. ”

My tears fell on the letter, and blurred the ink of his handwriting… and as I continue on reading… “Now, that you have finished reading my answer, if you are satisfied, please open the front door for I am standing outside bringing your favorite bread and fresh milk… I rush to pull open the door, and saw his anxious face, clutching tightly with his hands, the milk bottle and loaf of bread….

Now I am very sure that no one will ever love me as much as he does, and I have decided to leave the flower alone…

That’s life, and love. When one is surrounded by love, the feeling of excitement fades away, and one tends to ignore the true love that lies in between the peace and dullness.

Love shows up in all forms, even very small and cheeky forms, it has never been a model, it could be the most dull and boring form.. . flowers, and romantic moments are only used and appear on the surface of the relationship. Under all this, the pillar of true love stands… and that’s our life… Love, not words win arguments…

61 responses to “Valentines Day

  1. Read the story somewhere on Facebook, bit cheesy, but yeah, the msg it convey is true and sweet. We don’t need pillars built to prove our love, it ust comes in small things, the small moments of daily life, it don’t need a lifetime to sprout love, just a moment is enough, it’s just the warmth and passion which binds us together, forever..!!

    • Cheesy? lol if you say so…

      Spoken like someone who really knows what they are talking about… you are so right in so many ways…

      But not forever, they’re are never guarantees…

      • they’re are never guarantees…

        true… been single since 2 mnths, and thts after 4 yrs of ‘life’, everything was so perfect until…
        still can’t believe that happened… maybe i’ll write about it someday.

        • It’s tough isn’t it… losing someone you love… and days like valentines don’t help either… I never celebrated it when I was with someone so I don’t feel it on this day but I know how tough it can be for others who are on their own too…

          Life goes on, that’s the hard part of losing someone is nobody is standing still while you pick yourself or pull yourself together… find your footing again…

          You should write about it will help you for sure…

  2. I think there is nothing wrong with having a day in the year called Valentines day. Being on the receiving end of gifts – I think its bloody awesome.

    Lets admit, that if everyone treated their partner or potential partner as they do on valentines day everyday the world would be perfect, and then we all would be super-human-beings. I have heard this argument many a times, and I simply laugh it off, as being the way you are on valentines day everyday is impossible – and for those who are not romantic really need to start thinking on different lines.

    I enjoy pleasing the women on this day, they need time and money spent on them, although it’s not a total reflection of love but its the starting point – only if you believe in love – which I don’t.

    • I think Valentines will be what you want it to be about… It’s been commercialised to make it all about gifts and fancy meals etc. So.. if your valentines is all about the grand gestures and that’s what you like then so be it.

      Not everyday can be like valentines but I just don’t believe you need one day to make a gesture of romance or love. Like I said before it’s a feeling that should be expressed whenever the heart desires not when a calender tells you that today is a romantic day and you celebrate it.

      As for the gift side of things… if you feel like gifting someone something then you should do it… what is more romantic than someone turning up on your doorsteps with gifts when there is no birthday, anniversary or occasion. Now, that is a complete surprise and a delightful one too.

      • We human beings ‘on paper’ are most romantic, loving and surprising people, perfect beings if you ask me. In ‘reality’ we are quite the opposite so when our egos get the better of us, when our selfishness takes over our emotions and when we lose the ability to care for others (despite ups and down) we need a gentle reminder to say, hey its that day again where you need to ‘start’ being a human again – Valentines is that subtle reminder.

        Now in my world – and I’m being ‘honest and realistic’, if I turn up at the door step of a girl whom I would like to buy gifts for, on no special occasion, although she would be swept of her feet by my actions but soon enough the thought ‘I wonder what he really wants from me’ quickly over takes her emotions. This is from personal experience. The confusion over shadows the relationship – so in my case Valentines is a day for action all round.

        Let’s face it, the statement that valentines should be every day not just a day in the calender is pretty old and getting boring now, often the words are uttered but in reality they are not followed.

        • “Now in my world – and I’m being ‘honest and realistic’, if I turn up at the door step of a girl whom I would like to buy gifts for, on no special occasion, although she would be swept of her feet by my actions but soon enough the thought ‘I wonder what he really wants from me’quickly over takes her emotions”

          Well isn’t that what valentines day is about… ply her with gifts and then the action comes… I think it’s probably the only day a guy is guaranteed some action… if he brings the right gifts and takes her to the right place for dinner of course… 😛

          So then what it comes down to it’s not about love but about sex… humph!

  3. I dont mind valentines day as long as someone gives me the gifts ..

    I like the above comment by TBAB.. 🙂 he has said what i wanted to say myself .. saves me all the typing ..

    the only thing different is I want ot be on the recieving end whats the harm in spending money on YOUR MAN .. 🙂 🙂

    and yeah i dont beleive in love too .. its a word used too much and most of it is given or taken with some sort of hidden agenda .. 🙂

    • I don’t see any harm in spending money on your man… and I do when I feel like it and want to.. not when I’m dictated to that I should or it’s expected of me.. now that is a complete turn off …

      There are enough other times you get gifts do you not? Like birthdays, anniversaries and other special occasions…

      I think everyone has stopped believing in love… I think it’s a sign of maturing and finally growing up

      • I believe people have forgot the true meaning of love. The word ‘love’ has become a cheap word, some which now has no meaning. In today’s society I am yet to see a real example of ‘true love’ not the one I see expressed so commonly like currency out of a ATM machine.

        Love is reserved for a one time special period in life, where you expect their period to expand throughout the life till ‘death do us apart’. The love is there for that special person, whom you would like to spend the entire remaining years of your life with, not the one who you want to spend the night with. Love is not cheap and often people who are in Love don’t know it until years and decades into it. You worship the ground upon which you love has walked, you kiss the places which your love has touched, you dream during the day of your real experience with your love, time does not exist when you are in Love, the day and night become one when you know you are in Love. The world is no longer a world, its been superseded by another world, the world of your Love.

        I’m yet to see this Love in modern era.

        • It does exist but just not appreciated or recognised and taken as seriously as what it once was… and like you said the definitions seems to be confused aswell…

          When you have been in love you can search your whole life you will never find anything like it… because there never will be anything quite like it… many do love again but it will be different nothing is ever the same…

          I think the reason why nowadays it’s not so intense as it’s being confused with wanting and needing someone… there is a difference and it’s yet to be defined in ones head what it really is they are feeling… I’m sure in time, like you, many will eventually figure it out after a lot of heartache and pain.

  4. I couldn’t agree more!
    If you love someone, why would you wait until 14th Feb to tell them? It’s bullshit designed to make card manufacturers rich.

  5. I think valentines day is a load of crock! I do belive in love, but not everyone will get it! In any relationship a person should be made to feel appreciated all the time and not once a year. How crap is that. I don’t need mothers day because at least once a day I’m told I’m loved by my child. I don’t want valentine day either. I want my cheek touched when we are talking, I want him to smile at me every so often for no reason, when we are angry and go to bed I want to wake up and find his arm draped over me out of habit. Keep valentine day. I don’t want or need it!!!

    • When you say you believe in love what exactly do you mean?

      I used to thing love conquered all. That no matter what happened as long as you both loved each other that’s that mattered. Or as long as there was love there anything was possible.

      And then you learn the hard way so babes what is there to believe in.. do tell?

  6. Valentine’s Day is like New Years Day, all fine and dandy until the first bill of 2012 arrives though the post and all back to sq. 1.

    When a person comes to their senses they realise they don’t want to be dictated to re: when to show affection.

    Male or female, we all deserve to be showered with gifts and love, however these should fit the situation and have some sentimental meaning behind it, not because the whole world is doing something on a particular day.

    So me say NO to VD. My wife is probably going to kill me!

    • Totally agree with you….

      I remember when I was a student there was this guy I really liked and had done for ages. I waited till valentines to show him how I felt and by then he’d found someone else. He was a creep anyway but I think it proves my point.

      Erm.. Does bhabhi reads our blogs? I bet your still gonna by her something next week lol

  7. She missed all the things he was already doing … she missed them all until she read that letter. People show their love in many different ways.

    I think Valentines day is overly commercialized and that it actually takes away from something that was supposed to be about PEOPLE not THINGS.

    This is nice Honey 🙂

    • Yeah it’s meant to be a celebration of love but it’s lost in all the commercialism. If some girls don’t get their rose its like the end of the world.

      I really liked this story because it shows at one point when all the frills and trimmings are gone this is what u want to be left with. Also sometimes its not the huge gestures that prove your love but it’s when that person becomes an extension of you. It’s so natural you barely notice.

      • Exactly right. That is what I would like to be left with. I’m a patient woman 🙂 … you know, I have that resolve thing going on and all that.

        I was talking about this topic on another blog as well and it’s like… the most important things don’t cost money.

          • hmmm…. ::::::))))))) Thank you honeeeee 🙂

            And so will you, soooo will you. Yah! Okay, 1 rose, massage oil cuz back rubs are nice with it aaaand … uhm… yah! works for me!!!

            Oh. A three muskateer bar would be awesome! LOL 🙂

      • I’m learning to use this new feature wordpress has where in the little box up there on the right, where it says who clicked like? It now shows who responded to me. Which is SO COOL since I don’t click the little box. My inbox gets all full of comments and … euw. 😉 BUT … I think this response is at me…

        This is what you want to be left with. I agree. I know two people who do have this. They’re 51st wedding anniversary is this year! Her wedding band is a piece of copper pipe he cut out for her many years ago. No diamonds… I never even noticed until they told me last year.

        • Yesterday I was on my pc and I was using the notifications feature too. I remember word press saying that more new features were coming and this would be on of them. It’s brilliant because u can answer comments from anywhere and never lose your place.

          51st? Wow talk about it being forever. Growing old together…. It’s bringing tears to my eyes. Gosh I’m being sentimental…

          • Must be the week before “you know” as to sentimental? 🙂 Happens to me every month.

            Yah I love this new feature because even if I click the comments I’ve made thing, it can tend to get lost anyway. Like one guys blog he always has mass amounts of comments so if you click the box to be notified you get 100’s of notifications that you have nothing to say too. I don’t like my inbox being that way. So I wuv this new feature!

            • I usually go to the “comments i’ve made button” and everything comes up that’s been said after you’ve made your own comment and sometimes going back to make a follow up comment you get lost if the person has a hundreds of replies… this is great the notifications feature.. wordpress is finally catching up… 😛

              Nah I just cry at anything anytime anyplace… it’s just me… 😛

              • I know and then if I’ve replied all over the place, it only shows “so many” comments and then older ones seem to get lost. I’ve missed some in that way too.

                Oooh Okay 🙂 du mushy moo. A person I used to know would sob at everything on TV or a movie we’d be watching. We’d simply get her tissues. Although, I remember this moving which made me sob when I was younger. Trains, Planes and Automobiles with John Candy. It reminded me at the time of my dad.

                • i was watching Eastenders last night, one of my soaps and my eyes just watered when this guy lost custody of his daughter.. it was so sad 😦

                  I don’t need tissues i just wear long sleeves lol…

                  • hahahaha!!!! hahaha! When my daughter was little, her little sleeves were always covered in boogers. I tell ya… oooh … I have to get out of here and go food shopping. I’ve rather successfully put it off for a whole hour! 🙂

  8. Awww lovin da story..he noticed every lil thing about her & she’s complainin he ain’t romantic. I totally agree with yuu tho…Valentine’s day should be everyday when your in love..yu don’t need one day in a year to show how much you love each other. You can show it whenever you want and how you want 🙂

    • Aw babes with you it will be… I can see how much you love your chavaaa 😉

      I really really wana come to your wedding ;( and tell bee I want my valentine kiss… I will be waiting 😉

  9. After much, much thought, I’ve come to the following conclusion about Valentines day:

    The concept that cards, gifts and flowers are a sign of romance doesn’t make sense, more that it is believed that there is an association due to media portrayal over the years.

    Woman certainly do deserve appreciation, and if they wish it to be expressed on one day on Valentines day, then why say no.

    But appreciation can simply be shown by spending time with the person, or doing something together, something that she would like to do together which maybe, the couple haven’t got round to doing because of other commitments.. It should not be broken down into an expectation that the man must provide numerous superficial gifts. It’s not about that, It’s about something deeper 🙂

    • Totally agree. How about a valentines day where no gifts are to be bought. I’d love to see what people will do. Guys will be scratching their heads trying to figure out how to make their woman happy now. The chocs and flowers are such an easy way out and women are daft enough to fall for it.

  10. I’ve been married for 20 Years and have realised that there are different sort of romances and loves. For me personally Valentines day is more for the younger genenration who are in the thros of romantic relationships and need that sort of romance of the big gestures to affirm what they are feeling. Those early relationsips are all about the romance and the gestures but once you have been in a long term relationship or marriage you will have the view that is expressed in the article above.

    Romance then is about the deeper meaning of the smallest of things.

  11. I see your point, and the point of the story, however I think valatines and for that sake the other hollydays, as commercialized as they may be have their place. It is easy to say that love should be celebrated everyday, but we all know that life is not like that. As in your story things become “everyday”. Days like those if done right are more or less just a reason to stop and take account.

    • Everyday is unrealistic but it should be a feeling that should be expressed when needed to.

      I think you are one of those crazy romantics that pull out all the stops on this day. Aren’t you? 😉

  12. That letter made me choke with emotions. My parents treat each other so casually ( like how most parents act with each other ) but, if I think about their relationship more deeply, I’ll discover true love . My father comes homes everyday at the same time, like an alarm clock. Well and good, But when he left to go for his annual vacation in the Philppines, I saw Mom looking at the clock, as if waiting for the door to open at that exact time, then realized, he wasn’t home. After a few minutes, I saw her sad face , like she had just cried. That’s love, right ?

    • Aw that’s so sweet and yeah of course it’s love. My own parents were very rarely apart. I still remember the little things they did for each other and most of all the respect they had for one another. That’s where I’d love to be one day.

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