Recycle your Relationship left overs.

The Divorcée Sales are the latest trend in some cities – parties where women gather to sell designer gifts from their exes at bargain prices. But, besides flogging unwanted Prada, are there other ways to recycle unhappy romance memories?

The Divorcée Sales are arguably an ingenious notion for women who hate their exes and love designer fashion. How better to leave behind painful memories than by selling off the anniversary Bulgari and consoling yourself with someone else’s Chanel, cheap?

Shedding the trappings of a past love provides a psychological lift, says Jill Alexander, entrepreneur behind TDS, who always donates a proportion of the sales to charity. It certainly worked for Kim Basinger who sold the bling Alec Baldwin bought her when their marriage broke up and gave away all the proceeds.

Every single relationship can be used to improve the next
We can work this recycling magic with other relationship baggage, not just the matching Louis Vuitton kind.

The Power of The Past

Gifts, photos, cards… why do we cling to such painful reminders anyway? Objects from a relationship hold power because they say, ‘somebody loved me,’  and ‘Things’ show the world that you mattered. One of the biggest human needs is to feel significant. Women especially need this proof and we’re reluctant to relinquish it.’Photos are a biggie – throwing them away is often the only way to save yourself pain – but how about transferring them to disc first? When you heal, you still have them but while it hurts, you’ll be less tempted to pull them out when you are feeling down.
Don’t burn anything
With every item comes a story. If your partner really hurt you and you express that anger by burning mementoes, negativity stays attached to those objects, Whenever anyone asks “what did you do with that stuff?” you’ll recount an angry story. But explaining that you gave your wedding dress to someone who couldn’t afford one and how much pleasure it gave them re-associates the item with a positive story; one that makes you feel good about yourself.’Invite friends over for a give-away. It’s easier to let ‘stuff’ go in a positive atmosphere with someone explaining you why you no longer need it.’
Recycle The Beginning
Remembering the horrible bits is actually a survival technique. By reliving uncomfortable experiences, we’re actually trying to understand how they happen in order to avoid repeating them. But picking over sad memories long-term is damaging.Mentally return to the beginning of your relationship – alone or with a friend – and remembering all the things your partner said they loved about you. Go through old cards and letters. Write down the love messages and then throw the cards away so only the compliments remain.Remember: you are still this person. Someone was attracted to you because of those amazing traits – and you still posses them all.
Recycle criticisms as an inspiration
… rather than using them as a stick to beat yourself with. If a cruel ex called you fat or unsexy how much of this truly resonates? If it hurt because you feel it too, use the money you make from selling their gifts on E-Bayto hire a personal trainer or to buy a new wardrobe.Do whatever you have to do to prove to yourself that they were wrong. And while we’re on the subject, recycle the term ‘my ex.’ Using “my” means you continue to own someone. Use his name or use “my child’s father” – there’s less hurt attached to these labels.
Recycle the problems as warning signs
Every single relationship can be used to improve the next. When you start dating again, ask yourself: “how do I feel about myself with this new person?” If it’s bringing up similar feelings to the ones you had with your ex, be wary. See what patterns you followed in your last relationship and monitor whether new dates follow or deviate from this path.The brain loves familiarity so we shy away from things that seem different. But this can mean we follow the same destructive patterns. If you react differently or a new date approaches something in another way – don’t see it as a problem. Repetition of the unfamiliar makes it the new familiar!
And if there’s something you can’t bear to part with?
If that D&G LBD you bought for your anniversary dinner in Pragueis just too gorgeous to part with, give it a makeover.’Add a new collar, new buttons, a corsage or have it adjusted. If it’s hard to alter, wear it with pride and remember that you bought that item because someone loved you in it – and you are still that loveable person. Think of it as you would a vintage outfit – forget the memories of that previous owner.Because that previous owner has been recycled and is moving on to bigger, better things.

59 responses to “Recycle your Relationship left overs.

  1. It’s interesting, but sad to see how relationships result in items, which once were held close to the heart, now need a new home. No one wishes for this to happen, but its a reality and as you highlighted in your post, its a growing trend.

    Items given as a gift by a loved one, especially on special occasions generally have more attachment to it, people tend to keep hold of it, as it helps them remember the memorable times and more importantly the person who it came from.

    • It’s true that sometimes when something is over, its those things that are left over to remind you what was good about it. I’ve addressed that in here to keep photos on discs etc.

      It’s sad that things come to this, because when you are with someone you think it’s forever and believe it too. It’s a rarity it actually happens.

      I read a quote somewhere… “when someone leaves your life, it’s because their story has ended in yours” but life goes on…

  2. I kind of disagree with the burning theory😛 I for one believe in taking that thing and completely burning it, then stomping on it, then spitting on it, then jumping on it while chanting absurdities and then simply picking it up and parceling it back to the ex😛

  3. ‘I agree, no one is perfect, and the best way to deal with a painfull situation is to learn from it. Gifts and mementos do have significance even in a bad situation, because when they where given, it was in love. So they still have or atleast should have a good memorie attached to it. And in the end memories are all we have. But yea, giving it to someone or something who might need it more has a great sound to it. The whole divorce sale however, still seems to be action out of bitterness. It is not in bitterness we let go, not do we learn… in theory anyway😉

    • Everyone deaLs with their situations in different ways. A lot of it is bitterness and it’s hard not to feel it.

      Doing the above isn’t so bad compared to what some people do out of bitterness and revenge. Some end up looking like and acting like they have been possessed by the devil😉

  4. world has become veyr materialistic these days ..

    I agree with you that gifts given we keep for long as a reminder that they once loved us but then they can be a source of pain too.. remmeebring the good days then ..
    and what has become of them

  5. I enjoyed this post and learned a new aspect on healing in the process. Thank you for offering a solution to a problem as opposed to masking a symptom

  6. Sounds good Aneesa!🙂

    I have only good memories about my past loves – although the break-up period still saddens me – because we stayed friends until we just drifted apart.

    Getting involved in a relationship for the wrong reasons makes it certain that when those needs are fulfilled then the loss of the relationship is inevitable…

    Love and hugs!

    Prenin.

  7. I like the concept.

    Assuming you are only talking about “break-ups” here, then in my estimation, guy or gal, one just needs to ship out the old stuff and start fresh. I don’t think it’s got much to do with past memories, however if you are starting a new relationship, then you don’t really want to retain any of the old accessories with past partner(s).

    The thing with gifts is an interesting one. I don’t think they really go that far as to express one’s love, but its more a token gesture. i.e. I might purchase an expensive watch for my partner, either because she “needed one” or that she is a “collecter” and needs a new addition to the list. So in affect you are fulfilling a “want”. For me, if my partner simply just told me that she feels loved today same as she did when we first met, then that’s the most loved gesture I could get, anything else is a materialistic bonus, can break, get old, wither away tomorrow, who would know.

    So in a nutshell, if you do find yourself on the wrong end of a relationship, ditch all the stuff!

    Note: Matter very much changes if you have “lost” a loved one.

    • You do make some good points, I think a lot of people also give gifts because they know it will make their loved one happy and it’s human nature to want to give gifts. We do it for birthdays, Christmas, weddings etc. with our everyday people anyway. It is a want and sometimes an expectation too, where the other person is expecting it and you deliver.

      Sometimes we do gifts to convey a feeling and the gifts that come out of the blue for no reason are the best ones. I remember I once got a bottle of perfume for no reason at all. There was no special occasion nothing, someone just wanted to give me something because they were thinking about me and wanted to do something about it. It was the sweetest gift ever not because of what it was but the thought behind it.

      Another thing I remember was when we had people come round to visit for a rishta… they guy brought flowers and chocolates… and i jokingly said “are you trying to bribe me.” and he was so charming .. he replied that even if things don’t work out for us today I’d still like you to remember me in a nice way and not about all the negatives you found in me. I was so impressed and charmed by him, although we never got married or anything, we became best friends and still are today.

      When you lose someone it is a different story…. everything becomes a precious memory…. even the smallest of things… I did give my late fiancé’s things to charity just so he could help others even after he was gone. What he gave me I’d never part with.

  8. Wow…just when I thought I’d seen everything! I have never heard of these Divorce Sales before. Crazy.

    Great blog my friend. Glad to have “met” you.

    • Its a healing process in getting over a break up… if they go through it they will be able to move and with their new life a lot easier. In order to move on they need to deal with the things that are left behind of the ended relationship.

  9. When I say I love this post! I mean you just gave a full run down of my feelings, my thoughts! I still have photos that I look at from time to time…just can’t get rid of them and my children would have a fit! Yeah that’s my excuse and I’m sticking to it…when really I could give them to my kids, instead I keep them locked away. Often, wonder will ever stop going back to them damn pictures. Let me scroll back up and read this again! LOL

    • But you have not found that as time has gone on you look at those pics than what you used to? It takes time and soon you will move but when the time is right for you not when someone else tells you it is.

      Hope the post was of help to you and you are feeling better. If you can’t part with those pics and just keep them for the sweet memories attached to them then I don’t see anything wrong with it. Enjoy them as good times spent with someone who meant something to you and you to them.

  10. I guess healing is the most important thing…and we all heal and mend in different ways. I always try and remember the good that all people brought into my life…as everything has its season. The problem usually is the fact that we try to hold on to it far too long. In any regard I enjoyed the post…and wanted to thank you for your visit as well.

    Peace and Blessings to You

    • Thanks for dropping by my rays…

      you are right we all do heal and mend in different ways and at different speeds… it’s all about our inner self and mentality and capabilities.

      Remembering the good is fine but remembering the bad is just as important because we learn from it. If we learn one thing from a broken relationship then the pain is worth it.

  11. Hey its such an interesting post🙂 And it would help a lot for people like me who are suffering from how-to-end-my-painful-memories… Let me try these and i guess remembering those might also do us some good in not doing the same mistake once again🙂 Thanks a lot for sharing🙂

    And i have nominated you for “The versatile blogger award”… Do visit my page for further details🙂

    http://atinytoes.wordpress.com/wp-admin/post.php?post=749&action=edit&message=6&postpost=v2

    Happy Word-pressing🙂

  12. I really enjoyed this post, it is so relevant and consoling if you are a little way past the “just broken up stage and are starting to get over it. I think i am hooked on ur blog x

    • Thanks Kimber for coming by I am flattered by your comment.

      I think people will know when it’s the right time to part with things in order to move on and get on with life.

      Usually the shock and pain is paramount that you can’t think straight. So yeah it will be slightly after that.

      Wish you a really good day😛

  13. Gifts given during a marriage become keepsakes… when a divorce takes place depending on how it ends those keepsakes no longer hold fond memories…
    Each one to their own of they handle with broken relationships!

    • so true Savira… but if you think about it those gifts were probably given when the relationship was in a good place so there are good memories attached to it. … It’s all about how you feel about your break up and the things that are left over from it.

  14. This is a great posting Princess and
    just goes to show how many things
    can remind one of another…

    For instance if one has been bought
    a beautiful dress for instance and that
    relationship has ended, then just know
    that when one is wearing that sexy dress
    again it will generate some very nice
    thoughts from someone new…

    Sooooo, even if the memories are still
    there for the item that is being worn, it
    can still be extremely sexy and…

    Well I am sure you know what I mean🙂

    Have a very nice rest
    of weekend Princess🙂😉

    Androgoth XXx

    • That is a very wicked thought O’DARK one. Using a dress bought by an ex to pull another… I love it😉

      Hope you are doing well and had a delightful weekend🙂

      Huggggzzzzzz

  15. Pingback: Top Post from some of my Best Bloggers! « Love, Life and Relationships

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