Being bitter really doesn’t help

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Sometimes in life we take knocks and falls. We get the bruises and grazes and we just get back up, brush ourselves off and carry on. Many a time we don’t even think about it again and move on, getting caught up in the hubbub and hussle bustle of life. The bruises and grazes heal and all is forgotten about.

Then there are those times that nothing seems to go right, as hard as we try what seems to be in our grasp just eludes us. So many times you try and try, you move heaven and earth to make it happen but it’s just not meant to be.

You sit and wonder why O why is this happening to you? Why is the world against you? Why is your relationship falling apart? Why didn’t you get that job? Why are you penniless? Why is everyone hurting you?

It’s questions that sometimes the answers are simple or there are no answers. In truth it just isn’t meant to be.

But it’s hard to accept this and we blame everyone else and the world for our shortfalls, failures and heartbreaks.

We begin to be bitter when it’s so much easier to learn from our past. Make our experiences and mistakes lessons, learn from them instead of blaming society, your family and everyone else.

When did blaming everyone else for your problems and past issues help? Yeah it makes you feel better temporarily but you end up manifesting feelings of bitterness that carry on into your future. It will effect your future relationships, decisions and life.

Best thing to do is man up and admit it just wasn’t meant to be and stop holding everyone else responsible for your own deep underlying issues. It can be tough I know but one thing I’ve learned in life is no matter how hard we, push, plot, plan, be devious, be courageous to get what we want, it won’t happen.

Sometimes we don’t even try and something just happens, it just falls into our laps. So it’s really simple, if it’s for you it won’t go by you. Let the bitterness go and move on.

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35 responses to “Being bitter really doesn’t help

  1. sound advice Aneesa.

    Sometimes though the damage can be so deep, the pain so severe, that it marks us and we are forced to live with the scars for a lifetime.

    This is as true for emotional/psychological wounds as it is for flesh and blood injuries.

    Believe me – I know from personal experience.

    Today I am a long way from the wounded child I once was, but it doesn’t take much to remind me of the damage I suffered as a child and later as an adult.

    I am just lucky I didn’t turn out as evil a monster as my father who has been ostracized by all the family apart from my youngest brother Keith who is a born again Christian so was required by his wife to forgive our sperm donor – but I NEVER will…

    Love and hugs!

    Prenin.

    • i can understand why you can’t forgive because his damage has been everlasting and you are suffering… espeicially him taking away your ability to ever have kids and the emotional scars you talk about…

      I totally get being bitter towards that person… it is hard to let go and why should you.. you have every right to feel the way you do…

      But what I love about you is how you have dealt with and share it with us… you are a lesson to us all… that being bitter isn’t really the answer…

      • Thanks hun! πŸ™‚

        Yeah – Bitter and twisted isn’t the way to live – that way he’d have won!

        What pisses him off most is that he can’t touch me and his hatred has no outlet.

        As long as I live I’ll be a reminder of his crimes and that will continue to eat at him because I told people what he had done…

        I had a friend called Mandy who was staying as his lodger and she was a regular visitor for years, but very promiscuous, so she was constantly trying to wheedle her way into my affections.

        She had two abortions while she was living with my dad because he didn’t want her to have children so he paid for them both.

        About a year later I had surgery and a little help from momma nature which restored my ability to function, but by then Mandy was pressuring me into a relationship and I was already ill mentally because my life was being put through the shredder by investigative journalists looking for ANYTHING that would make a story.

        Mandy and I then did the deed, she then announced that the baby she had begged me to father was now within her and begged me to pay for an abortion.

        Unfortunately for her I took an overdose and ended up in ICU for a couple of days before spending six weeks in the psychiatric unit, so was beyond her reach, so she announced that she had miscarried and that it was a baby girl.

        Insane or not I smelled a rat as this was in the first trimester when we are talking a bunch of undifferentiated cells.

        Turned out she was in the habit of weedling her way into a guy’s affections and then get them to pay for an abortion and pocketing the money.

        When dad found out he hit the roof and wrote a poison pen letter full of death threats and evil language including blaming me for Mandy’s two previous ‘pregnancies’ and wrote the immortal line: “How does it feel knowing I killed your kids”.

        When pressured by her friends over the miscarriage she announced that, in fact, she had, had an abortion and that was supposed to end the matter.

        Needless to say our relationship failed and shortly afterwards I was given Olanzapine which has the fun side-effect of shutting down the patients (male and female) sex drive, so I have had no relationship since.

        Mandy sold her story to the journalists and now is planning to move elsewhere in England to leave her past behind now her Uncle is dead and she can no longer blackmail him as she has been doing for many years.

        As you can guess, Mandy’s life story isn’t a pleasant one – one of the reasons I felt so damned sorry for her and fell for her games – but that’s for another time.

        On the downside I never got the child I wanted, but on the plus side I had a lucky escape from a manipulative woman who lied like most people breath…

        Love and hugs!

        Prenin.

        • It sounds like u shouldn’t believe a word that comes out of her mouth. I’ve known a few like her and god help anyone’s whose Path they cross.

          What a story, your story. Sometimes your frankness leaves me sPeechless. But I appreciate that you’re not hiding from anyone, you know you were the victim, that’s what’s always to be kept in mind.

  2. I think I saw this quote somewhere πŸ˜‰ yes ,you’re right Aneesa,blaming others of our failure is totallt foolish .As Adnan Ali always says ,we are the masters of our choices.Hey ! I hope you’re okay . πŸ™‚

  3. Hi Aneesa! πŸ™‚

    believe me hun I’ve survived on less!!! πŸ™‚

    I got Β£50 off Pat and the girls, so I’m OK for this week! πŸ™‚

    I have a bunch of things to do this year, but because of my joint problem i will be struggling…

    Lots of luck on the decorating! πŸ™‚

    Love and hugs!

    Prenin.

    • I hope Prenin you managed to get through ok with what you had…

      I’ve just finished the decorating… and I hurt like hell.. not used to that sort of stretching at all. 😦

      HuggggzzzzzzZZZ

  4. When a path is chosen one has to
    take the good with the bad, nobody
    should vent their frustrations upon
    others, not if the path chosen was
    freely taken…

    I hope that you are enjoying a very
    nice Christmas holiday time Princess πŸ™‚

    Androgoth XXx

    • I’m just annoyed that some people around me choose to be bitter… it really makes life hell for all of us… and you are right one shouldnt blame others and take out their frustrations on others… if one one would learn this …

      Huggzzzzzz

      • I think for those that do it is a real shame,
        but never let their weakness spoil your own
        happiness Princess Laila as that would be
        even worse my fine and wicked great friend.

        Have a lovely build up to
        the New Year Princess πŸ™‚ πŸ˜‰

        Androgoth XXx

  5. There is no value in being bitter, luck favours us all at different points in our life, sometimes we get the opportunity to reach out and claim an opportunity, sometimes we fail to capture this.

    As much as some people may disagree, but you need some faith in a higher power somewhere to help you lesson the bitterness in life. Swallow it, get up and get on with it. Appreciate thats easier said then done, but you do yourself no good by being bitter in life – you simply kick away any sweet moments you might have experienced because you are too blinded by hate.

    Take Care Aneesa.

    • Exactly… being bitter and blaming others or taking it all out on those around you isn’t the answer… what some don’t realise is that you are passing by on being happy with someone somewhere because of this.. you are ruining friendships, relationships and losing out on so much just because you can’t let go of what you have been through… why blame the world? What are you gaining from it by lashing out? Nothing absolutely nothing…

      Hope your holidays are going well… πŸ™‚

  6. Very true, though sometimes it is nice to blow a gasket lol, but often times it is simple as, asking a more intelligent question, “why me” is never a intelligent question, though a easy one to ask. and to be honest, there are no good or bad things that happen to us, its about what we focus on that makes them so, and most things are just lessons..

    • It’s a shame not everyone takes these lessons seriously and ignores them.. or they don’t have the stamina to look for a lesson in an experience… just keeps looking at them as mistakes.. and blaming others…

      Well said…

  7. Um I believe that everything that goes wrong in life has our own selves to blame for. Sure, others do have a hand but the main factor will always be us. So, instead of being bitter we should smile off our mistakes and just be happy πŸ˜›

    • I don’t think we can be happy with all that goes wrong with us.. what I would like is that people stop blaming everyone else for their issues and problems… take control… stop being a victim when you aren’t really and get on with it… because you lose out on so much when you remain bitter and blamefull…

  8. Those are great words – and I even like the handwriting.

    I was so so affected by my raising for so long, it is wonderful to acknowledge now it is past and cannot be changed.

    Love wandering around reading everyone’s roundup of 2011. Great page here, Princess πŸ™‚

  9. I agree! People often wonder why I don’t live angry with my ex after such a painful divorce. I just take what was good out of the marriage and accept the fact that it wasn’t meant to be. Besides I made a choice for me and he agreed so why should either of us be bitter! Yet, he is very bitter and still doing evil things, but I just pray for him and keep it moving. Being bitter just ruin you…Have you ever been around someone who is always feeling down? The shit becomes annoying and it brings your spirit down too!! Nobody is going to be bubbly all the time but we must learn to grieve for a time period and then let it GO!! Thanks for the uplifting post! *SMILES*

    • Thanks serenity…. I’m so enjoying your blog too πŸ˜‰

      I do know some people who are so bitter that they are letting good things pass them
      By. I think these people just don’t want to take their own blame in the matter. If one accepted this and stopped blaming everyone else they would deal with it and move on quicker.

      It would certainly make life easier for those around them.

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