One of the things being discussed was how our behaviour becomes so normal and predictable that family and friends know exactly how you are going to react or behave before you even say or do anything.
What was also said during this discussion was how they can better tell us about ourselves than we can. Meaning we think we are acting one way yet we are perceived a completely different way.
To be quite honest it’s true. Many a time we are accused of being a certain way, doing a certain thing or reacting a certain way. When we are adamant it’s not true and we meant the opposite. I find myself in this position loads of time where I am having to make myself very clear that this is what I meant and not this.
Is it because people have already made up their minds about us from previous reactions and behaviours?
Or is it because we aren’t making ourselves understood very well?
Does that mean our communication skills are lacking?
Then the question arises do we really care what others think?
Well it does matter if we are being perceived wrong. It’s our own image that has been taken out of our hands and being decided on with us not even realising it.
How often have you had someone say to you… you said this.. and you have replied “yes I did say that but this is what I meant”. Before you realise it you have been completely misunderstood.
The lesson in this discussion was that we should always be aware of what sort of persona we are giving of and how we are being perceived. We should be clear in what we are meaning and saying especially in first impressions because that is what stays in a person’s mind whom you meet for the first time. Even a smile and handshake has a big impact on what you think of someone and apparently we don’t even realise this half the time.
When we touched upon smiles many of the people there agreed that there are so many different types of smiles that some make you feel warmer to some people and some make you turn away.
I know we are aware of these things but actually hearing it in a discussion certainly opened my eyes to a lot of things today. No, I’m not going to go for a complete personality transplant ( that would be one helluva job seeing how big mines is) but I will definitely be looking at others more carefully and will try to at least make sure I’m making myself clearer where it matters and better understood.
- Reinforce Behaviours & Foster Engagement with Planned Spontenaiety (kenmilloy.wordpress.com)
- The Muslim Woman and her neighbours (xeniagreekmuslimah.wordpress.com)