What is normal?

I met and old friend today who looked at me very closely and said “You’re not looking normal these days!”

I asked her what do you call normal and she was a little stumped for words as I look rather annoyed at her.

I was serious what the hell do you call normal? and when will I be normal? coz when im called normal I don’t feel normal and I don’t want to be normal and when I want to be normal everyone tells me im not.

I remember when I was a rebellious child and boy, did I rebel! It was my mission to defy every authority and every rule that was put in my way. For some reason I wanted everyone to know that I wasn’t going to do as I was told. I mean why should I? Nobody understood me!

The more I rebelled and made everyone’s life hell the more they called me normal. When my social workers and school teachers held this massive meeting in which I was brought in and asked questions, they asked me to wait outside and I heard them talking. ( Note to adults.. if u wish to discuss a child make sure they can’t hear you, it seriously messes up their head! )

They called me “normal” and said this sort of behaviour was to be expected and it was nothing unusual especially considering my background.

Great I thought so why do they go out of their way to tell me off, punish me and have these massive meetings  about me if this was “normal and to be expected”. I was not a happy bunny on hearing this; because for some reason I didn’t feel normal at all, if anything I felt out of place and very angry at all of them.

I wanted to be like the others who appeared normal to me yet they kept saying I was!

So off I set with a mission to prove them wrong that I was not their “normal”. The more I was determined to show them I wasn’t the more they said I was.

To cut a long story short I think I made many people have nervous breakdowns, split hairs and pull nails out with despair but they still kept telling me how I was feeling was totally utterly  normal and it was nothing unusual. I think if I painted myself green and grew horns they would still have called me flipping normal

Now years on when I’m all grown and done all the things that were expected of me and am still doing everything that is expected of me. I have my degree and have become a successful in what I do. I am finally comfortable in my life, heart and soul. I have also come to terms with my childhood and past and I also think I’ve made amends in more ways than one. Yet now I’m told I’m not normal.

According to some, I’m hyper, highly strung, a recluse, unsociable and much more. They now say I am not normal and I look them in the eye and ask, well tell me what is normal? Because who would know the answer better than me?




22 responses to “What is normal?

  1. I would of shake it off. Some people say things and don’t know why they do. For some it is merely a reflex or habit with wording that sound good. I don’t think there is such a thing called “normal”. I had a psychology teacher and he told me if someone call me normal one day tell them stop insulting me because there is not such a thing.

    We all have certain behavior or conduct we must hold in our life but at certain timing all hell break loose for relaxation or over stimulating one minds. So don’t worry about this normal and abnormal wording, lol, it will drive a person nuts merely trying to justify it or breaking it down.

    • It’s true she didn’t put much thought into what she said and sometimes people don’t. Not caring what your saying or asking someone is really careless.

      I now know there is no such thing as normal and never will be.

      Thanks for your really nice words. You talk a lot of sense. 🙂

  2. Nice post. Thank you for mentioning mine. The sad think is that too many professionals rush to reassure parents every thing is honky-dory. One of the movements in the US says no mental health professional meetings should be held about the person being discussed being present and with any advocates or others they want present. Many professionals hate that idea, but I always thought it a good one.

    And as I think I said in my notes, rather than Normal, I prefer to think kind or cruel and to who–or should that be to whom according the grammarians who tend toward OCD.

    As I am trying to, Stay strong.

    • They knew I could hear them and there’s nothing worse than listening to others discussing you very frankly. Especially at that screwed up age.

      Thanks for dropping by.

  3. I guess we can perceive that wording in different ways depending on how we as individuals feel at any given moment, in other words if someone says you are not looking normal it can be seen as a positive, and this is because you know exactly where you fit in the world, and because of that they are perhaps seeing a different you, as in a more positive you for example.

    Just because a person says that you are not normal doesn’t always have to be a negative, and in a sense as you are feeling good about yourself then whatever they have to say is of no consequence, indeed you know exactly how you feel and they don’t so in this instance it really makes no difference what they meant by not being normal, as you know that you are fine and no matter what anyone else thinks or says, you will always remain optimistic and focused because that is how you are my great friend.

    Never worry about how another person may see you,
    for only you can actually know how you feel and that is
    all that matters.

    Androgoth XXx

    • Yes I am fine that’s why I asked what normal was because years ago I would never have had the confidence to ask this or bear the answer.

      Her question made me realise that there is no such thing as normal. What is to one won’t be to another. It’s what’s inside that really matters. How you feel about yourself.

      You are very wise 🙂


  4. That’s a good question Aneesa – don’t go by others view of you, go by your inner self!

    There is only one person who can tell you if you are normal or not: Ask Aneesa – she’s a pretty honest gal!!! 🙂

    Love and squishy hugs!


    • oh thanks your too nice to me. But yeah I do feel more relaxed with myself than I did before.

      Warm huggggzzzzzz ( it’s getting colder and colder! )

  5. Maybe your friend chose the wrong word. It’s really discomfiting to be greeted with those words, being normal or not normal.. She could have said, ” You’re looking good or nice.”

    Cheers !

  6. Well obviously that friend doesnot know you well …

    Normal is when friends love you and have a smile on their face either way .. irrespective of how you look or do 🙂

  7. Morning Madam.

    Agree with all the comments made by other readers here, so not much more I can add.

    There is a difference as to how this term is used, what context.

    1. Parent saying “is that normal for your child to do that”? They are comparing you to another child who they think have “normal behaviour”…what’s normal in this scenario? Who can you classify normal? You sit with your backside firmly on the chair compared to lifting one bum-cheek up, is that normal? Who bloody knows.

    2. A friend sees you after a long time, notices a difference, should then say “you don’t look your normal self”. It’s a valid statement, because they have based this statement on the last time they saw you, and maybe they have noticed a slight dip in your mood.

    Don’t take it to much to heart and keep smiling.

    Nice to have you back 🙂

    • I didn’t take it to heart too much just found her incredibly rude. I wish she’d told me what she thought was normal.

      I don’t think normal will ever be just normal. It will be what we want it to be.

      And it’s great to be back. 🙂

  8. We can only ever judge what is normal by ourselves, Aneesa, others may try to say this or that is normal, but they all have their own ideas… WE know inside what we feel is right and natural to us…and you are so right in what you say, you are the one who ‘Knows’ you….deep down inside… be true to yourself and you can’t go wrong… xPenx

  9. Me, I would have just answered . . . “Why thank you, so good of you to notice.” There can be a case made for my being normal or not, depends on who you talk to. I figure I’m just me and that should be good enough.

    Sounds to me like you have a pretty good handle on this whole “normal” thing. You’re fine.

    Very thought provoking though.

    • I’d like to think I do have a handle on it but some people just rub you up the wrong way. Especially when you’ve spent most of your life struggling with what normal is.

      I really wanted an answer from her but never got one. I was hoping for a discussion on why she thought that and her perspective. I suppose I was in one of those moods and ended up scaring her off lol.

      Thanks for dropping by 🙂

  10. In my world, normal is relative. Just like everything else. My stock phrase is 95 % of us are dysfunctional and the other 5% just think they’re not. You are normal and beyond which is a good thing because convention bores me. Boring, YOU are not. LOL

    • Hahaha 95% lol you made me laugh. But I totally agree. I like the idea of being dysfunctional now 😉

      And it’s true ive never been called boring. :p

      Thanks you have proper cheered me up. 🙂

  11. Normal is a word, word are sounds and have no other meaning than what we give the, normal is so different for different people at different times. For me normal means avaradge and who the hell wants to be that anyone (even if we sometimes wish we were) Being normal is just as a diffuse comment as being yourself

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