I’m not easily impressed by guys. If the visual is good sometimes they just need to open their mouth and it puts me right off.
( I’m gonna call this person Zia ) Zia’s family have been wanting to come and visit since before ramzan. I kept telling my brother to put them off, I’m not interested in looking at any rishtay ( perspective grooms ) I’m really not into all this cattle Market nonsense ( it’s how it feels at times ) plus I’m not looking.
Anyway, against my best wishes my brother arranged for them to come round last week. His attitude is, you just never know. The visiting party consisted of his mother, brother and bhabhi. The brother knows my own very well but this was the first time I was meeting them.
So I prepared the usual and waited for their arrival. The door bell goes and to my horror they are early and my brother is still in the dam shower. As there is no one else home it’s left for me to answer the door and let them in.
They were shocked to see me but all smiled pleasantly and greeted me affectionately. Zia was last to enter, he looked at me said Salam, smiled and lowered his gaze. Wow! This guy was not checking me out. Point 1 to him.
I showed them through to our lounge and explained that bhai is in the washroom and will be through shortly. The bhabhi apologised saying we are early. Point 2 to them for knowing and mentioning they messed up.
I felt quite relaxed amongst them. I’m not a shy person and I’m old enough and experienced enough of these things to make small talk. Which we proceeded to do so for about ten minutes.
I could easily have separated the women and left the men on their own but in this sort of situation it’s best to keep everyone in one place as so many things can go wrong. So if something is said or done it’s in front of everyone.
Zia made small talk too. He was polite and respectful but one thing I noticed was his interaction with his mother. If she interrupted he wouldn’t push to finish what he had started to say. Is he a mummy’s boy or is it just a great deal of respect? Hard to tell at this point. So no points.
Eventually my brother appeared looking well groomed and all apologetic bla bla bla. While they extended their formalities my mind began to wonder.
It’s always like this. Everyone will be polite and nice and everyone seems perfect. It’s more an opportunity for them to check out girl and us to check out boy.
Next I had to get refreshments and I’m thinking the sooner we get this over and done with the better. I was starting to get irritated now. I put out the refreshments and retreated back to the kitchen as I had no intention of joining them. Requirements are you make one appearance so they can see you, my job was done. It would keep my brother happy and the rest too.
I was tidying up and waiting for them to leave when I heard footsteps in the hallway. I thought it was my brother but it was Zia carrying the refreshment tray back.
I was stunned.
Wasn’t expecting this. Because he took me by surprise I became flustered but soon recovered.
He didn’t leave he proceeded to empty the tray and chatting away like all is normal. I just leaned against the dining table and watched him.
He was tall with broad shoulders. His was hair was short n neat. He was dressed casually but smart. Overall not a bad looking guy who was well dressed. His bhabhi came through with the 2nd tray and asked if I required any help. I refused saying I was managing just fine.
We continued to chat with her asking me what I did etc I replied honestly and politely. Zia implored with his own question of why I don’t work. I replied I do some work from home but generally I don’t need to work. My brother provides well for all of us, I’m lucky. He replied with his own retort, well what if you get a husband who can’t provide for you what will you do then? minus 1 point
I heard his bhabhi gasp from where she was standing. His tone was not a casual one and while he appeared rude I understood what he meant. It’s important he knows that if he can’t provide a pampered lifestyle what will I do. minus 1 more point.
I smiled and replied very sweetly that we will try our best to make do with what we have and if it’s not enough then I will consider working.
His bhabhi asked, who will look after the kids. The grandmother of course I replied. Who flipping else I wondered. minus another point.
Amazing how things that are going so well can turn sour so quickly. I really hated my brother at this point.
When his bhabhi returned to the kitchen he didn’t follow. Instead he took out a card with his name and number and said. I won’t ask for your number but here is mines and I hope you will call or text me sometime so we can chat some more. He returned to the lounge. This guy had come well prepared. minus another point.
Ten minutes later I heard them leave and my brother called me to come and say goodbye. I decided not to go. They left.
My brother later asked me what I thought. My silence said it all. Sometimes he knows when he’s pushed me too far. He means well but he just never listens to me.
This morning he told me that they have been back in touch and are interested. I shrug my shoulders and tell him that they are looking for a money machine nothing else.
Out of all the questions he and his sister-in-law could have asked they choose to dwell on my issues of not working and if I would work after marriage. Most in-laws want their daughter in-laws to stay at home and this lot want you to go out and work. Doesn’t make sense.
My brother wasn’t impressed either after hearing this. I gave him the card with Zia’s name and number. He was quiet after that.