I have a mouse in my house… now for some of you, you will think that’s bad and advise me to get rid of it.. and for those of you who know me personally will know how upsetting and distressing this is for me.
I really can’t stand them, they freak me out and I think that what I have developed over the years is a phobia of them. It’s so bad that my legs are shaking writing this.
So, how do I know I have one? I went to farmfoods the other day and bought some shopping in. The bag with the cakes and biscuits, the kids left on the store-room floor. Now it’s nothing normal for us to put bags of crips etc on the floor but never open packets of food. It’s carpeted and very nice. It’s like a small room under the stairs. There are shelves there too.
Feeling peckish the other night I said to the my nieces to go and get the bag so we can have some cake. In the bag there was a chocolate swiss roll and strawberry one. So my older niece brings me the bag and shows me that the cake is already half eaten. I’m telling her that that’s impossible as nobody has touched the cakes. She proceeds to tell me that she thinks it was her older brother “the greedy git that has scoffed it.”
While she is telling me this I notice a hole in the farmfoods bag at the bottom and my heart sank… it was clear what had happened. I checked the store room floor and sure enough you can see bits of the bag all frayed and flaked there.
I don’t know much about the mouse as no one has seen it and we have not discovered any mouse droppings. We have no clue how it got in. Now what I do know is that the little shit prefers strawberry swiss roll cake to chocolate, as he never touched that one.
So where the hell is the mouse? Many have advised me to set a mouse trap. That is sound advice as I will set the trap and it will get caught in it and all I have to do is discard it. But how can you tell me to do this when I can’t even bear to look at it. My phobia is so bad if one appears on tv I have to look away and change channels and I can’t look at a photographic image of them either. So telling me to set a mouse trap is my worst nightmare.
It was one of the reasons I left Pakistan. In Karachi they roam freely big massive things. What was really strange was that they never entered our living quarters upstairs, perhaps because of the air conditioners, I’m not sure. But downstairs they would just saunter in and out like they owned the place. My mom would say that don’t panic it will just wonder about and leave and sure enough it did. But I would be petrified and totally freaked out to the point I would be sitting with my feet tucked underneath me.
They found this hilarious until they realised how distressing it was for me. I would actually go around trying to block ways that they were using to get in.. the little mutts would come up from the gutters.. uurgghhhh!! Then my maid would inform me that they can eat and chew through anything even stone, so that’s all pointless… grrrrrr
When I came back I was relieved to never have to deal with them again. I hate the way they startle me… it’s one of the reasons why I hate cats… when they brush against your leg and make you jump.. I absolutely hate it..
Anyways… you can imagine my shock horror when I did see one in the house some years ago.. I was so stunned, shocked and aggravated I started screaming and crying hysterically… I think I shocked myself at my reaction.. I just couldn’t believe that they were here too. Just as it came it disappeared and we have never seen anymore till now.
I hate this feeling, it makes me walk into a room and first I will pause and my eyes will dart around the floor into all four corners… just to make sure it’s not lurking about. The feeling will eventually pass untill I think there is one back again or I suspect there is one lurking about.
Well here is a message to you, you little shit, if I see you I will hound you down (or get someone to) and make you regret ever entering my domain. You will not get out alive, that’s for sure. (I’m gonna get my bro to kill you!) and most of all you will starve to death because I never leave food or rubbish lying about and we are not leaving anything on the floor either. So if you can hear me leave now!