Who do you blame when things go wrong?

A boy was born to a couple after eleven years of marriage. They were a loving couple and the boy was the apple of their eyes.

One morning, when the boy was around two years old, the husband saw a medicine bottle open. He was late for work so he asked the wife to cap the bottle and put it in the cupboard. The mother, preoccupied in the kitchen, totally forgot the matter.

The boy saw the bottle and playfully went to it and, fascinated with its color, drank it all. It happened to be a poisonous medicine meant for adults in small dosages.

When the child collapsed, the mother hurried him to the hospital, where he died. The mother was stunned; she was terrified. How would she face her husband?

When the distraught father came to the hospital and saw the dead child, he looked at his wife and took her in his arms and weeped with her and apologised to her for not putting the medicine bottle away. He told her he loved her and they would get through this together. 

The husband’s totally unexpected reaction is proactive behavior. The child is dead. He can never be brought back to life. There is no point in finding fault with the mother. Besides, if only he have taken time to put the bottle away, this would not have happened.

No point in attaching blame. She had also lost her only child. What she needed at that moment was consolation and sympathy from the husband. That is what he gave her.

Sometimes we spend time asking who is responsible or who’s to blame, whether in a relationship, in a job or with the people we know and miss out on the warmth in human relationships we could receive by giving each other support.

After all, shouldn’t forgiving someone we love be the easiest thing in the world to do?

Treasure what you have. Don’t multiply pain, anguish and suffering by holding onto forgiveness. Let go of all your envies, jealousies, unwillingness to forgive, selfishness, and fears and you will find things are actually not as difficult as you think.

If everyone could look at life with this kind of perspective, there would be fewer problems in the world.

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8 responses to “Who do you blame when things go wrong?

  1. This is an excellent posting highlighting a very important aspect of human nature, yes it is rather simplistic to appoint blame to another in such dire circumstances, but like your blog suggests this is neither the time nor the place to thrust guilt upon another that is already sad and grieving, to do so would be cruel and truly unforgivable.

    I once read a quote by someone that simply said “Blame Is for God and Small Children” and although the heat of the moment can sometimes generate a very pessimistic and negative approach to such devastating events, in reality it is the compassion and complete understanding of another that is required, to reach out and comfort instead of attaching blame where blame is not the issue.

    A very well written posting my friend…

    Androgoth

    • Thanks my friend for your kind words… you know I always say just think before you speak.. and not everything requires you to answer straight away.. if you wait your chance will come to address something in a mature way and properly and by then your anger has usually calmed down too..

      I have a friend who will always speak before thinking and can be quite scathing, then will spend hours apologising for it..

      If everyone just stopped for a few moments and thought before speaking you will see the blame isn’t always where you think it lies.

      You are right, we are not here to judge, let God do the judging and let us save ourselves and our relationships.

  2. Awww that story touched my heart 😦

    But it’s left a good msg out to people. These days everyone jus wants to blame someone or the other. Or they don’t look at themselves first. We’re all humans afterall..bound to make mistakes. No-ones perfect 🙂

    • Yeah too right, he could easily have put the blame on the mother and said “I told you to put the bottle away” yet he never did it.. it would only have taken a few seconds.. you have to accept blame sometimes.. which is too hard for some people..

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