Understanding corporate words…

~~~~~~~~~~

“APPLY IN PERSON”

If you are tall, sexy and stunning with all the right assets the job is yours. Skills not required then!

~~~~~~~~~~

“COMPETITIVE SALARY”

We remain that way by paying less than our competitors.

~~~~~~~~~~

“JOIN OUR FAST-PACED TEAM”

We have no time to train you.

~~~~~~~~~~

“CASUAL WORK ATMOSPHERE”

Buy your own uniform.

~~~~~~~~~~

“MUST BE DEADLINE ORIENTED”

You will be six months behind schedule on your first day.

~~~~~~~~~~

“SOME OVERTIME REQUIRED”

Seven days a week.

~~~~~~~~~~

“DUTIES WILL VARY”

If it’s a sh#t job, guess who will have to do it?!

~~~~~~~~~~

“MUST HAVE AN EYE FOR DETAIL”

We have no quality control.

~~~~~~~~~~

“CAREER-MINDED”

You must be able to crawl to the boss.

~~~~~~~~~~

“NO PHONE CALLS PLEASE”

We’ve filled the job internally; the advert is a legal formality.

“SEEKING CANDIDATES WITH A WIDE VARIETY OF EXPERIENCE”

You will need it to replace three people who just left.

~~~~~~~~~~

“PROBLEM-SOLVING SKILLS A MUST”

It’s a mess here.

“REQUIRES TEAM LEADERSHIP SKILLS”

You will be doing the boss’s job but not for the same sallery.

~~~~~~~~~~

“GOOD COMMUNICATION SKILLS”

Do what you’re told.

~~~~~~~~~~

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s