Let’s play them at their own game…..

Because I’m a princess  🙂 and am in the house most of the day, I have smartened up to a lot of things about stay at home people who have to deal with certain things. In this rant I’m sadly going to have to admit I answer my own phone! Yes! I do!

Don’t be so shocked, close your mouths of shock now and read on. …

Those of you who don’t know what cold calling is, it’s when people just randomly call you to sell you things. Bit like random requests on Facebook lol!! You never know what they have to offer!

Ok, there is nothing new about cold calls, despite the fact we all hate them, despite the fact we are rude to the callers they still keep calling. It’s a fact of life and that’s that. What upsets me is the lack of inventiveness to the callers these days

for example the

“Helloooooo, we are doing a survey”


“don’t worry we are not selling anything”


“I just wanted to ask 2 simple questions”


“As an incentive you may win a FREE gift voucher”

Ooooooo – ok then, go ahead

“Do you own your own home?”

Errrrrrrr – yes (It’s a vanity thing, you have to admit it, don’t you?)

“Great! Now, second question, if you could replace your kitchen, bathroom for FREE which would you pick……….?

Recognise the trap? It won’t be for free and it will mean follow ups very soon. Now what do you do?

My usual one to this question has been “none of them, we have just replaced the lot”.

Needless to say they pack up at that point and you don’t get your FREE voucher!!

So, what are the follow ups to this type of call? Answer the question with “I would probably choose a kitchen” and you will win the “voucher” with the benefit of a follow up call at a later date starting………….

“Helloooooo, you answered a survey a while ago saying you would like to replace your kitchen and we have estimators in your area so we would like the opportunity to give you a FREE estimate for a luxury designer kitchen?”

I don’t need an estimate, they told me how much it would cost.

“Really? Oh, errrrr, so you have had an estimate?”

No, I don’t need an estimate, they told me how much it would cost and you can come and fit the kitchen on Monday please.

“Errrr, I’m a bit confused here, can you confirm the cost they gave you?”

Yes, it was FREE. The question was “if you could replace your kitchen or bathroom for FREE which would you pick” So, I’ll have the FREE kitchen please, is Monday ok with you?

Oh, and while you are on the phone can I order my FREE bathroom too? Make that Tuesday please, we don’t want the workmen getting in each others way.

“I think you misunderstood Sir, it’s not FREE but of course you don’t have to pay the full price because you won the FREE gift voucher which knocks a huge 10% off the price!!!”

Ahhhhhhhh!!!…… ok this may be a strange question but when you do the survey why don’t you say “If you could replace your kitchen or bathroom for several thousand pounds, which would you pick”

“I don’t think that would work from a marketing perspective, I have a feeling most people would just say “no” or hang up”


REALLY?! …………………..click

But the easiest thing would be… is to just bloody say

“No I don’t own my own home… i rent!”

Yeah I know it flippin hurts…… let’s not go there…  😦


23 responses to “Let’s play them at their own game…..

  1. I know this feeling so well and now I have some great tips from you to sort them out. Never again will I intimidated by a cold caller!

    • hey juliet i just read on a website that cold callers are trained to stand up and make the call so they feel more authorative so if your sitting down when the call comes,…. stand up! and stand your ground!

      my sister always tells salesmen they rent and is duly left alone, thats where i got the idea from! 😛

  2. ii read dis n it was reeli interestin to read how chalaak some people are. Dey wud do anything, say anythin to get what they want…and at the end of the day IT’S MONEY !

    Praise to those who get da catch nyc n early n show da callers where to go..

    Dese tips are veryu useful..dey’ll certainly help those who have slow brains for example BUSHRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA !! 😀

    • eeee u just couldnt help yourself in getting a dig at her … but yeah some really good tips there.. for all of you when u get them on the phone
      another thing is they are trained to be so assertive and sometimes aggressive, hey umzzi u could get some tips for when you become a budding lawyer..

  3. Yeah exactlyy dey’ll come up wiv anyhting out of nowhere just to make those vulnerable to believe them..and then they ger der faida ! Kothay de puttar lol 😀

  4. Umzii tehr ja .. appar aven liya.. jhutti maara di tere sir vich…. akkal te koi ni.. zuban dekh is ki hahahha x

  5. Cold callers deserve the cold shoulder!!! A company from India was awarded a telemarketing contract for marketing in Canada and they are so dam sneaky when they call especially if your name is of Pakistani or Indian decent.They start of by asking how the wife and kids are (in the native tongue) and one really feels for a split second that you know this person and then right out of left field, ” sir, would u like a free estimate on our duct cleaning service” ? I will usually say yes and allow them to go on their cooky cutter speech and when they are just about to make the closing sentence to complete the sale I will usually say something like I live in condo not a house and if they are soliciting paving service for the driveway I will say something like I just have grass and so on 🙂 so that’s my little revenge method back at them for wasting my time and R AND R time;)

    • actually u know aol does that when we call them regarding our broadband… its an indian call centre and they are really nice. they ask how the weather is, how the family is. This bit i love right, coz i tell them i got 8 kids! Always some wee darkie will tell me he comes froma a family of 10 or 11. im like, all right! are you trying to compete with me!
      oh and i love it when they ask me if vood like toooo cum toooo indiaaaa vor a holidayyy… pleej be our guests! so i put on my paki accent and say, no sorri maan i cant avord it. in return i say, vuld u like tooo visitt me i will vill send u visaaaa. hahahahahahahahaha
      they are still waiting for the papers 😛

  6. Lmaoooooooooooooo Aneesaaa !! Hahahahaah yuuuu doo guddd !!

    And Maxii maxxii maxxxii maxxx lol…dats sikk…yuu hav 2 take revenge and do them over otherwise dey will neva stop 😀

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