Open Relationships – results

Not long ago I did a post asking you readers to define what in your opinion was an open relationship…

The reason I asked because as you all know I’m a Facebook freak and through using fb I end up ranting and raving about it. One of the things I noticed was that many guys and girls were using “open relationship” as their relationship status.

I kept thinking how can conservative/religious people and people from strict backgrounds and youngsters be in open relationships, it just didn’t make sense. I know the world is changing but I also know that many can’t be that open minded and then broadcast it openly on Facebook, because let’s face it most of us know what the definition is of an open relationship. If not then here it is…

An open relationship is when you are with someone yet are free to see other people. No, it’s not friends with benefits because this means you are not in a relationship with this person but simply get together when it suits you. Where as, an open relationship is where you are in a relationship with this person but you are also in agreement that it’s ok to see other people. Hope that clears it up for anyone who is having any confusion over this. The poll results I will tell you about in a minute.

So, going back to Facebook, I decided to ask a few of these people what they meant by stating publicly that they are in fact in an open relationship. One guy replied… “It means I am open to a relationship”… I had to stifle my giggles. I tried to explain to  him what it really meant but he thought he was right.. so I left him to it… let him be the despo plonker he sounds like…

Ok.. so.. anyway next person… (yeah he did piss me off.. I hate it when people don’t listen to me!) The next person I asked said “It means my relationship is open” This sounded better.. I ventured further and asked what do you really mean? (I thought… he doesn’t look that clever so let’s be sure he knows what he’s talking about) He then told me with great relish it means he is open to have sex with a girl. I asked “Do yo mean lots of girls?” He replies with astonishment “Have you no shame? Of course not… only one girl will be enough! If I can get one… I am open to lots of sex” ok enough said

A few others I asked thought it meant you are bisexual but none who displayed this as their status actually were in open relationships or knew exactly what it meant and not many wanted their partners sleeping with other people.

It was quite a day defining the true meaning to them.. I really should become a lecturer, I think I’d do a grand job!

So the final results of my poll… the question asked was…

A whopping 64% of you knew what the answer was and the rest of you were divided between friends with benefits or open to a relationship with no limits where anything goes. 4% of you thought it meant same sex and another 4% weren’t sure… so all in all most of you are aware of the definition… it’s just numpties on Facebook who don’t have a clue…

If you don’t have Facebook you can’t be our friend.

I’m fed up with those conversations you hear between people. One starts talking and the other will say “yeah yeah I read all about it on fb” that just kills the conversation.

Fb really has killed the art of conversation between people. It’s like there is nothing left to talk about anymore because everybody already knows your business, even people who you didn’t think read your wall, do. They know more about you than you do.

I know social networks do serve a genuine purpose but I personally do believe they have taken over people’s personal lives too.

Gone were the days gossip was passed word of mouth and bitching was done behind closed doors. Now if you don’t have a fb you’re left out and don’t fit in.

It’s almost used as a reference to every conversation one is having. Either it was on Facebook or you’re told to check fb first before you can be part of the main topic at hand.

So nowadays it’s update yourself on fb goings on and then try to be part of a social circle… Oops sorry fb is the social circle.

Even your priest follows you…

Has This Happened To You?

This pic reminds of those times you see someone’s profile picture and think “WOW!!!! This person looks super hot/sexy” instantly your curiosity and interest is triggered. You send a friend request on FB or add them on twitter or google+. You can’t wait to talk to them finally they accept your request or you accept theirs if they had already sent one. Then you decide to take a closer look at their photo albums (because you just have to see more of this person) and feel the wind going out your sails.

Why do people do this? Put up amazing super awesome profile pics. Then put up albums of themselves that look nothing like their profile pics? Are you following me?

So what if one day the camera was kind to you and made you look like a film star/pop star/model… It isn’t really you!! You are leading people into an illusion that only leads to disappointment.

Either keep the illusion going that you are looking freakingly awesome and post pics of that calibre inside your profile as well… or… Just post pictures of where you look normal and the camera captured your natural normal everyday look and not your film star look. Then people like me won’t have that build up and let down that we get when we click on you.

Maybe I’m being a bit over the top but this is really starting to annoy me. Got it off my chest now so feel much better already

Another bunny boiler bites the dust! Funny must read!

Write text here…

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What is the definition of an “open relationship”?

I put this question up on Facebook the other day and was surprised and shocked by some of the answers.

So just wanting to do some research on what you think the definition is of an open relationship… please take the time to cast your vote. Remember all answers will be anonymous.

Post and results will follow soon.

Moving On

This week I walked away from a few things that had been very prominent in my life.

Sadly they just weren’t working out. I had to step back and look at things and realised why keep with something that was making me so unhappy. Was it really worth it?

Before it used to be because the good out weighed the bad but suddenly the good has got less and less and the fighting and arguing has got more and more. Then there is the fact that someone can just with one small action make you feel so insignificant and worthless. When did someone end up having that much power over you?

So I took the decision to try and move on and that meant cutting many things and a few people out of my life. I don’t know if it’s permanent or not but right now I know I have to step away just for my own sanity.

One of the decisions was deactivating my Facebook account. Cutting out things that were doing my head in was a good decision. Let’s hope I don’t get driven back to it.

Losing so many things at once is leaving me lost and a bit confused. I really don’t know if I’m coming or going. I’m not looking for shoulders to cry on, not really. What I am fed up of is being is shoulders for others with no return. How long can one keep on giving and giving? Eventually it just drains you leaving you exhausted and completely empty.

Im not gonna devastate over this too much… I truly believe if god doesn’t want my relationships to work maybe it’s because he has something better in store for me.

Here’s hoping, time will tell.

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How not to get hacked! How secure are your accounts?

I’ve just spent the past few days changing all my settings on Facebook and my e.mail addresses as someone is trying to gain access to my Facebook account. This idiot I think has even managed to log in at one point as I got a text saying “iPad logged into your Facebook account at… bla bla..” the thing, is no one in my  household has an iPad so I  have no clue to what is really going on… 

I don’t share my password with anyone and have not used any public computers. The thought of someone being in my Facebook is really pissing off to say the least. Eventually I thought I better just change my settings, password and update e.mail addresses too. Better to be safe than sorry. 

With Facebook stepping up on security and privacy settings we are all still vulnerable to being hacked. Whether that may be on Facebook or our e.mails etc.  I have decided to compile a list of things that I think everyone should know about protecting themselves from hackers.

• Keep your social networks (i.e facebook, google+ etc.) e.mail addresses private, that means don’t share them with anyone or display them on your profiles.  The most common way your accounts are hacked is through your e.mail addresses. I will tell you in a bit how to protect them too. 
• For chatting, for instance on yahoo and msn, use separate e.mail addresses. As these are more public and you are more likely to share them out more. 
• As we move more and more towards paper statements, internet banking and paying bills on-line and buying on-line our details are more likely to be in our e.mails. For your private affairs like banking, bills, accounts, credit cards and other private financial matters use a separate e.mail account. Don’t share these with anyone else. 

Okay, the reason why I’m advising on separate e.mail accounts for your most personal things is because even if they are hacked at least you wont have all your eggs in one basket. So if you keep things separate you are more likely to have some damage control in the worst case scenario. 

Now let’s move on to passwords. I am the type that uses the same password for everything as I find it hard to remember different ones. While it seems the best thing to do, it really is a big risk. An easy way to get hacked is to give a site your e-mail address and then use the same password at that site. The same goes if you use the same user name and password at two or more sites. If the site does not encrypt the password, then there is a huge problem. Anyone who works for the site and has access to this information (or gains it) now has everything they need to log-in to your account. While most sites protect passwords, there are still ways for employees to get it. Attacks from within a company are actually the most common. At the least, use a different password for your e-mail account than everything else.

Your password must always include numbers and letters of no sequence.. like 123456.. always jumble them up… I find it easy to use a word and then add numbers .. here is an example… 

princess…  1020princess2010… 

now the numbers can be the last four digits of a mobile number or a date that you will remember always… or you can put numbers in the word.. whatever you do… make sure it’s not something anyone can easily guess. 

Now let’s talk about your e.mail security questions. Remember to apply the same rule to your answer… because if someone knows you personally they will be able to answer your  security question no problem. So always mix up your answer with some numbers and extra letters. Even then if someone knows what street you grew up on or where your mother was born, they wont have the exact answer. 

Always set up alternate email accounts and make sure they are secure too. 

A recovery e-mail account is a method a lot of systems use to help you get back into an account that you have lost the password for. This could be for a site like Facebook or for another e-mail account like Gmail. The idea is simple. You ask the site to send you your password (some will just reset it). The site says: “Sure, it’s been e-mailed to you.” As long as you have access to that other account, you are just fine and dandy.

Check your recovery e-mail account every three months or so. If you do not, the account may be deleted. Someone else can now claim it. If someone claims that account accidentally and you reset your password, then you just lost control of your main account. If it was on purpose, then the next step is to simply go through the password recovery process.

My advice is to check this account before reading any further if you have not done so recently. This is the one tip that I found I had not followed when I heard about it. Fortunately, I grabbed the accounts back before someone else did.

Also most sites now as you to register your mobile with them so when you are in the recovery process they can just send you the code.  My suggestion is to apply everything to your account if they options are there to do so. So even if let’s say you can’t access your recovery email address you can use one of the other methods, security question or email recovery. 

While most of this stuff is common sense, we always think it wont happen to me but you just never know. So always be safe and be aware!

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