Who are you really?

If we all could choose to be anyone we wanted to be who would we choose? Or what would we want to be? Or could we simply think “no this is who I am and I’m sticking with it!”

I recently came across something disturbing and realised that as much as we think we know someone how well do we know them? When we doubt their authenticity and its being denied do we trust our instincts or do we choose to trust the very person we doubt?

I think I knew from day one that all was not right. But decided to give the benefit of doubt. I didn’t really care to be honest. After all Internet friendships/relationships come with certain elements of fantasies and extravaganza. So what the hell if someone wants to pretend they are someone or something else.

But as time goes you get tired of the pretence. It gets to the stage you just want a little bit of genuineness and some honesty. For someone to just take your friendship seriously and respect you enough to reveal their true selves. To know and trust you when you say “I know, but it doesn’t matter, lets just be honest with one another”

Sadness is when they’re not ready or too scared to step out of the trap they find themselves in, to move into a genuine honest and unconditional friendship. What they don’t realise that eventually they too will tire of the pretence, lies, cover ups and fantasies and by then it will be too late they will have gone too far and too deep to turn back.

So what does that say about them or us? What sort of society do we live on where we fear to be ourselves and pretend to be someone else? Is it that we feel that we will only be accepted if we are beautiful/handsome, rich, desired or amazing?

I guess the Internet allows people to deal with insecurities in the worst way possible. Rather than trying to be ourselves many have found this medium to hide their true identities and live in a world that while appears fun and amazing you eventually realise its just a painful fantasy that will never come true and one u can never escape from. It’s heaven trapped in hell.

Each Day At A Time.

It takes a lifetime to realize many things in life then there are times it takes a split second for everything to hit you smack bang in the face.

Yeah, I know I’ve been away a while but things have been hectic of the past months. A family member is not keeping well. So trips in and out of hospital are now an ongoing thing. I’d love to go into more detail and tell you guys more about it but she reads this blog sometimes so I really have to respect her privacy.

But the stress of it all is sometimes too much to bear and banging heads of walls is not helping either. We are at a stage in the treatment where nothing is working. Time and again we are ending up back to square one with the side effects of each drug taking it’s toll on her body and mind.

It’s amazing how isolated one can feel in an illness when the world is full of ill people. Our weekly trips to the hospital shows just how ill some people are and how worse off. It brings it home that we are lucky our situation isn’t as serious as some but it’s still a situation and we are dealing with it. So each day as it comes is what they always say.

Someone asked the other day how after everything I go through how do I manage to be so strong and keep positive. I guess like always, I’m just grateful for what is positive in my life and try to see the rest as a test.

Other than this dominating our lives at the moment there’s nothing really else to tell you guys.

Oh yeah just remembered the wonderful Facebook deactivated my account so had to make a new one. Please if you were added in my old one or wish to be added in my new account then drop me a request. Miss you all.. here’s the link http://www.facebook.com/aneesa.bashir.71

 

 

 

Open Relationships – results

Not long ago I did a post asking you readers to define what in your opinion was an open relationship…

The reason I asked because as you all know I’m a Facebook freak and through using fb I end up ranting and raving about it. One of the things I noticed was that many guys and girls were using “open relationship” as their relationship status.

I kept thinking how can conservative/religious people and people from strict backgrounds and youngsters be in open relationships, it just didn’t make sense. I know the world is changing but I also know that many can’t be that open minded and then broadcast it openly on Facebook, because let’s face it most of us know what the definition is of an open relationship. If not then here it is…

An open relationship is when you are with someone yet are free to see other people. No, it’s not friends with benefits because this means you are not in a relationship with this person but simply get together when it suits you. Where as, an open relationship is where you are in a relationship with this person but you are also in agreement that it’s ok to see other people. Hope that clears it up for anyone who is having any confusion over this. The poll results I will tell you about in a minute.

So, going back to Facebook, I decided to ask a few of these people what they meant by stating publicly that they are in fact in an open relationship. One guy replied… “It means I am open to a relationship”… I had to stifle my giggles. I tried to explain to  him what it really meant but he thought he was right.. so I left him to it… let him be the despo plonker he sounds like…

Ok.. so.. anyway next person… (yeah he did piss me off.. I hate it when people don’t listen to me!) The next person I asked said “It means my relationship is open” This sounded better.. I ventured further and asked what do you really mean? (I thought… he doesn’t look that clever so let’s be sure he knows what he’s talking about) He then told me with great relish it means he is open to have sex with a girl. I asked “Do yo mean lots of girls?” He replies with astonishment “Have you no shame? Of course not… only one girl will be enough! If I can get one… I am open to lots of sex” ok enough said

A few others I asked thought it meant you are bisexual but none who displayed this as their status actually were in open relationships or knew exactly what it meant and not many wanted their partners sleeping with other people.

It was quite a day defining the true meaning to them.. I really should become a lecturer, I think I’d do a grand job!

So the final results of my poll… the question asked was…

A whopping 64% of you knew what the answer was and the rest of you were divided between friends with benefits or open to a relationship with no limits where anything goes. 4% of you thought it meant same sex and another 4% weren’t sure… so all in all most of you are aware of the definition… it’s just numpties on Facebook who don’t have a clue…

If you don’t have Facebook you can’t be our friend.

I’m fed up with those conversations you hear between people. One starts talking and the other will say “yeah yeah I read all about it on fb” that just kills the conversation.

Fb really has killed the art of conversation between people. It’s like there is nothing left to talk about anymore because everybody already knows your business, even people who you didn’t think read your wall, do. They know more about you than you do.

I know social networks do serve a genuine purpose but I personally do believe they have taken over people’s personal lives too.

Gone were the days gossip was passed word of mouth and bitching was done behind closed doors. Now if you don’t have a fb you’re left out and don’t fit in.

It’s almost used as a reference to every conversation one is having. Either it was on Facebook or you’re told to check fb first before you can be part of the main topic at hand.

So nowadays it’s update yourself on fb goings on and then try to be part of a social circle… Oops sorry fb is the social circle.

Even your priest follows you…

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Has This Happened To You?

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This pic reminds of those times you see someone’s profile picture and think “WOW!!!! This person looks super hot/sexy” instantly your curiosity and interest is triggered. You send a friend request on FB or add them on twitter or google+. You can’t wait to talk to them finally they accept your request or you accept theirs if they had already sent one. Then you decide to take a closer look at their photo albums (because you just have to see more of this person) and feel the wind going out your sails.

Why do people do this? Put up amazing super awesome profile pics. Then put up albums of themselves that look nothing like their profile pics? Are you following me?

So what if one day the camera was kind to you and made you look like a film star/pop star/model… It isn’t really you!! You are leading people into an illusion that only leads to disappointment.

Either keep the illusion going that you are looking freakingly awesome and post pics of that calibre inside your profile as well… or… Just post pictures of where you look normal and the camera captured your natural normal everyday look and not your film star look. Then people like me won’t have that build up and let down that we get when we click on you.

Maybe I’m being a bit over the top but this is really starting to annoy me. Got it off my chest now so feel much better already ;)

What is the definition of an “open relationship”?

I put this question up on Facebook the other day and was surprised and shocked by some of the answers.

So just wanting to do some research on what you think the definition is of an open relationship… please take the time to cast your vote. Remember all answers will be anonymous.

Post and results will follow soon.