Who are you really?

If we all could choose to be anyone we wanted to be who would we choose? Or what would we want to be? Or could we simply think “no this is who I am and I’m sticking with it!”

I recently came across something disturbing and realised that as much as we think we know someone how well do we know them? When we doubt their authenticity and its being denied do we trust our instincts or do we choose to trust the very person we doubt?

I think I knew from day one that all was not right. But decided to give the benefit of doubt. I didn’t really care to be honest. After all Internet friendships/relationships come with certain elements of fantasies and extravaganza. So what the hell if someone wants to pretend they are someone or something else.

But as time goes you get tired of the pretence. It gets to the stage you just want a little bit of genuineness and some honesty. For someone to just take your friendship seriously and respect you enough to reveal their true selves. To know and trust you when you say “I know, but it doesn’t matter, lets just be honest with one another”

Sadness is when they’re not ready or too scared to step out of the trap they find themselves in, to move into a genuine honest and unconditional friendship. What they don’t realise that eventually they too will tire of the pretence, lies, cover ups and fantasies and by then it will be too late they will have gone too far and too deep to turn back.

So what does that say about them or us? What sort of society do we live on where we fear to be ourselves and pretend to be someone else? Is it that we feel that we will only be accepted if we are beautiful/handsome, rich, desired or amazing?

I guess the Internet allows people to deal with insecurities in the worst way possible. Rather than trying to be ourselves many have found this medium to hide their true identities and live in a world that while appears fun and amazing you eventually realise its just a painful fantasy that will never come true and one u can never escape from. It’s heaven trapped in hell.

I and You

“I” and “You” are the veil
between heaven and earth.
Lift this veil and you’ll see
no longer the bonds of
Sects and Creeds.
When “I” and “You”
no longer exist:
What is a Mosque?
What is a Synagogue?
What’s the Temple of Hindus?
What’s the Church of Christ?

Each Day At A Time.

It takes a lifetime to realize many things in life then there are times it takes a split second for everything to hit you smack bang in the face.

Yeah, I know I’ve been away a while but things have been hectic of the past months. A family member is not keeping well. So trips in and out of hospital are now an ongoing thing. I’d love to go into more detail and tell you guys more about it but she reads this blog sometimes so I really have to respect her privacy.

But the stress of it all is sometimes too much to bear and banging heads of walls is not helping either. We are at a stage in the treatment where nothing is working. Time and again we are ending up back to square one with the side effects of each drug taking it’s toll on her body and mind.

It’s amazing how isolated one can feel in an illness when the world is full of ill people. Our weekly trips to the hospital shows just how ill some people are and how worse off. It brings it home that we are lucky our situation isn’t as serious as some but it’s still a situation and we are dealing with it. So each day as it comes is what they always say.

Someone asked the other day how after everything I go through how do I manage to be so strong and keep positive. I guess like always, I’m just grateful for what is positive in my life and try to see the rest as a test.

Other than this dominating our lives at the moment there’s nothing really else to tell you guys.

Oh yeah just remembered the wonderful Facebook deactivated my account so had to make a new one. Please if you were added in my old one or wish to be added in my new account then drop me a request. Miss you all.. here’s the link 
http://www.facebook.com/aneesa.bashir.71

 

 

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Heads Do Roll

By now most of you know I was abroad in KSA (Kingdom of Saudia Arabia) Naturally I was there for the pilgrimage to perform Umrah (Not Haj as many thought… that is only once a year and will be performed in about 3 months time)

I hadn’t been away for a good few years so it was great to get away and what better place to be with Ramadan approaching to aswell. This was to be my second visit to this amazing country

KSA is truly an extraordinary country, not only the obvious as being the focus of millions of muslims and the birth place of our beloved prophet. The culture and the country itself is mesmerizing.

I’m British born with my roots going back to Pakistan so religion and culture is nothing new… women being covered from head to foot in black is nothing unusual for me. But yet, still, you see the allure and mystery and wonderment of it all.

Our last days were spent in the city of Jeddah and this is where we got a real taste of what life really is like in Saudia… while on a sight-seeing tour of the city our drive pointed out many things and we got out and looked, photographed, visited and moved on.

We passed this beautiful white building that was built like a mosque, it caught my eye because the sun was hitting of it making it sparkle like a diamond… (We were in a moving car so the pics came out really blur so can’t put them up) Before I got to ask our driver and guide if this was a mosque he pointed out this is the place where beheadings take place, yes you heard right, beheadings.

We all scrambled to look over to the left side of our car and what we saw in front of this magnificent building was a gazebo type of structure on a platform and were told “yeah under there”

“They do it here… in public?” I asked “Have you seen it… “

“Yes, many a time, it’s always after Friday prayers” he replied. He then proceeded to tell us that when the prisoner is brought out he has already been drugged so he isn’t aware of what is really going on around him. Hence why they are so calm and placid. The swordsman raises his hand and in one fell swoop he beheads him/her.

I felt a shiver run up my spine and the hairs on my arms and neck stand up. I couldn’t explain my reaction but the questions kept coming. Why? Really it’s in public? Can anyone watch?

My mind was distracted now. I lost all interest in the rest of the evening all I could think of was what I had seen and the effect it was having on me. I couldn’t explain it. But for someone like me who never watches horror movies and can’t stand blood and gore… I have to confess I was fascinated. Not by the thought of the blood etc but just by the whole thing from start to finish.

Why would anyone commit any crime in a country where the answer to most offences is getting your head choppedoff?or your hand. In Saudia you will be beheaded for murder, rape, drug trafficking, sodomy, armed robbery, apostasy and many other so called crimes. It does have one of the lowest crime rates in the world and you can clearly see why. A prisoner will be made an example of and I also learnt that you are encouraged by officials to watch this event whether you want to or not, by being pushed to the front of the crowd or like what I saw, performing the beheading in an area that can be viewed by passers-by and traffic.

What is going through the prisoner’s mind when they are being taken to this place, where everyone is going to be witness to their crime and death? Does he/she have regrets? Is he hoping for a miracle? And my main thought was how is this done? Does he sit or lie down or stand up… I wanted to know. I had to know. My interest was now triggered and I didn’t care how awful, barbaric or gory it sounded I had to see for myself but where and how?

It’s taken place on a Friday when there is a case. We were leaving Friday morning and there was nothing going on that day. I returned back to Glasgow feeling a little let down but my imagination would not rest, I had to see it somehow. So off I went to the place where anything and everywhere is possible, yes YouTube, blessed YouTube.

(im not posting the videos here if anyone wants to watch them they are easy to find)

I was mesmerised, I watched them again and again. The prisoner kneels on the ground with his head bowed and the sword is brought down in one simple stroke the body falls and the head rolls away. You can see the blood spurting from the body like a fountain. The executor quickly jumps back so he doesn’t get splashed, he doesn’t hang about he just briskly walks off.

I cringed at each one and cried too, and at the same time I had to see more but the most compelling video that I am posting isn’t of an actual execution but of the executor himself…

You can clearly see for him this just isn’t a job but there is great pride in what he does and also there is great skill involved… They are just so blase about it it’s shocking.

I don’t want this post to be about Sharia law or the politics of KSA. It’s just about my reaction etc on discovering the place and what proceeded. If I went into all that I will be here all night. Every country has their way of dealing with crime and many countries still have the death sentence.

This is horrendous and barbaric especially for the reasons they do execute but for them it’s a deterrent for crime and they have the statistics to prove it.

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Easy like a Sunday morning

Thought I’d share some Sunday funnies…
What’s your fav?

Prince Kael

As she hid behind the cold dark wall she could hear Dana walking furiously around the dungeon leashing her wrath on the poor prince.

Dana: I will only ask once again then not even God can help you, Who is she Kael? Who is she that you dare utter her name in my presence?

Her voice shrieked around the dungeon, the sound of her cracking her whip made Laila jump and fear for her poor prince even more. She had to get him out of here, out of this mad woman’s clutches and out of this dark, dreary, freezing,cold dungeon.

She could hear the tap of her heels as she moved around muttering obscenities, threats and for a moment she could almost have believed Dana was an evil witch. She certainly wouldn’t have been surprised to see a cauldron in the corner.

Dana: You are mine only mine! You are my slave, there is no room for any other bitch in this world. (she leans down and grabs the back of his hair) I will find her and kill her ( she whispers in his ear viscously) She will die, I promise you.

She starts to leave the dungeon, stops and turns

Dana: She will die! I promise you!

Prince kael : No my mistress please spare her. She is no threat to you, I will serve you always but please I beg you the Princess is of no harm to anyone.

She turns stunned and walks back over to Prince Kael and looks at his limp exhausted body clamped to the chains in the wall. He was bruised from head to foot and bleeding wounds were going crusty and new ones were still bleeding. She wondered why he made her treat him so badly and why she loved hurting him so much. Then she remembered…

Dana: Kael you are mine and until you dont stop muttering that bitches name in your sleep… I wont let you sleep.

With this she kicks him hard in the ribs and leaves promising to be back shortly with some boiling oil. The princess winces on hearing this and panics, she know she needs to get him out of there and fast.

Princess Laila waits till she can no longer hear the tap tap of her magnificent heels and runs to him. She is shocked to see his state and what Dana has done to him. He is stunned to see her there in all her beauty and sweetness. She truly looks like a sweet angel that has come to him from heaven in her long beige gold embroidered dress that seems to fall down to her feet and trail behind her. But her crying is upsetting him he tries to speak but no words are coming out.

Princess Laila: Oh Kael my sweet love, what has she done to you. Look at you, oh look at you. How can she hurt you like this, how could she be so evil.

Prince Kale: Laila my sweet princess…what are you doing here… you must leave… go… I will be fine… just go… she mustn’t catch you here…

Princess Laila: No I can’t leave you like this… we have are leaving here together… look I poisoned the guard and got the key to these chains… darling you need to try and get up now so we can go she will be back soon…

Prince kael: No she will catch us I’m in too much pain, my injuries are too bad.. go back the way you came in… don’t let her catch you here… go .. she will kill you.

Princess Laila: No, I won’t leave you here… then I have to kill her if you can’t come with me… I will kill her!

Suddenly Dana appeared from nowhere with two guards and screams “Guards grab her!” Before the princess knew what was happening she was being dragged to the wall next to her prince and was being cuffed in chains.

Prince Kael: No Dana, don’t hurt her… do what you want to me… but leave her alone.

Princess Laila: Don’t you dare touch him! you evil witch… I will make you pay for what you have done to him… you will suffer ten times more.

Dana slaps her hard across the face and again and again till she sees blood dripping from the corner of her lip… she touches it with the tip of her finger tip and licks it… “Sweet, too sweet”

She walks over to the prince and sticks her spiky boot in his face… he knows instantly what she wants… he begins to lick it starting from the bottom upwards as she reaches the top of her boot she hisses “Don’t you dare stop!” The guards turn their backs to her and their faces the other way and the princess closes her eyes and tries to drown out the noises of this despicable act.

As the dungeon fills with the echoes of Danah’s relish of her boots and thighs being licked the princess cries can be heard too.

Dana: She doesn’t shut up… the other boot now…

The prince is on his knees trying to please his dark mistress just so she wont torture or hurt his beloved. He couldn’t bear the thought of anything happening to her.

Prince Kael: Please release her let her go… I will do anything you ask… anything…

Dana: Anything?

Prince Kael: Yes, anything, you just need say.

An evil smile spreads across Dana’s face and she orders the guards to turn around…”let the games begin he is all yours” The guards move forward and grab the prince by the arm and drag him to a sodden mattress in the corner of the dungeon…

Dana: You will be punished for taking another’s name in my presence and telling me what to do. Guards he is yours.

The princess screamed as her lover was tortured in the most unnatural way known to her. She cried as his ordeal went on and on. Her brave prince never cried out once or let her see that he was feeling any pain. So brave was her prince.

Finally Dana ordered for her to be released and demanded she leave her dungeon immediately. The princess refused to leave without her beloved prince.

Dana: The prince stays, we have unfinished business.

Princess Laila: I won’t leave without him… you can’t keep him here and if you wont let him go then you will have to keep me here to.

Dana hearing this gasped in shock… the last thing she wanted was this princess getting in her way… she was a nuisance and her crying was starting to get on her nerves… plus the dress she was wearing was too pretty for a dungeon.

Prince Kael: Let us go, you have got what you wanted… now let us go… or one of us will die here tonight…

Dana: If you leave Kael I will hunt you down and have you killed, this isn’t over.

Prince Kael: Not if I find you first… let my princess go… and let me take her away from here… this isn’t where she belongs..

Dana: Take her she was starting to get on my nerves anyway… make sure she never shows me her face again…

Secretly she wanted to torture her more but her crying was too much and it was clear if the prince bled anymore this bitch would scream till the dungeon walls fell down.

As the princess helped the prince up who could barely walk.. they moved towards the staircase suddenly Dana’s voice boomed out…

Dana: Prince Kael aren’t you forgetting something…

The prince told the princess to wait and went to Dana and bowed before her and whispered… “I’m sorry my mistress… I’m sorry she found us… I’ll be back as soon as I drop her off at home and will be back for my punishment.. Oh and please don’t let the guards go yet, especially the big black one” With this he kissed her boots and left with his princess into the dark of the night… only to return again in a few hours…

Open Relationships – results

Not long ago I did a post asking you readers to define what in your opinion was an open relationship…

The reason I asked because as you all know I’m a Facebook freak and through using fb I end up ranting and raving about it. One of the things I noticed was that many guys and girls were using “open relationship” as their relationship status.

I kept thinking how can conservative/religious people and people from strict backgrounds and youngsters be in open relationships, it just didn’t make sense. I know the world is changing but I also know that many can’t be that open minded and then broadcast it openly on Facebook, because let’s face it most of us know what the definition is of an open relationship. If not then here it is…

An open relationship is when you are with someone yet are free to see other people. No, it’s not friends with benefits because this means you are not in a relationship with this person but simply get together when it suits you. Where as, an open relationship is where you are in a relationship with this person but you are also in agreement that it’s ok to see other people. Hope that clears it up for anyone who is having any confusion over this. The poll results I will tell you about in a minute.

So, going back to Facebook, I decided to ask a few of these people what they meant by stating publicly that they are in fact in an open relationship. One guy replied… “It means I am open to a relationship”… I had to stifle my giggles. I tried to explain to  him what it really meant but he thought he was right.. so I left him to it… let him be the despo plonker he sounds like…

Ok.. so.. anyway next person… (yeah he did piss me off.. I hate it when people don’t listen to me!) The next person I asked said “It means my relationship is open” This sounded better.. I ventured further and asked what do you really mean? (I thought… he doesn’t look that clever so let’s be sure he knows what he’s talking about) He then told me with great relish it means he is open to have sex with a girl. I asked “Do yo mean lots of girls?” He replies with astonishment “Have you no shame? Of course not… only one girl will be enough! If I can get one… I am open to lots of sex” ok enough said

A few others I asked thought it meant you are bisexual but none who displayed this as their status actually were in open relationships or knew exactly what it meant and not many wanted their partners sleeping with other people.

It was quite a day defining the true meaning to them.. I really should become a lecturer, I think I’d do a grand job!

So the final results of my poll… the question asked was…

A whopping 64% of you knew what the answer was and the rest of you were divided between friends with benefits or open to a relationship with no limits where anything goes. 4% of you thought it meant same sex and another 4% weren’t sure… so all in all most of you are aware of the definition… it’s just numpties on Facebook who don’t have a clue…