Happy 3rd Birthday To Me!

It seems I have a wordpress anniversary.

Can’t believe I’ve been here this long! I started this blog in 2011 and gosh how I’ve grown!

I’ve shared many thoughts, feelings and views with you all and you have always given me the best responses ever. You became not only my readers and followers but my wordpress family too.

So everyone thanks a lot and enjoy the cake!! >

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What’s Happiness To You?

Hi guys!

There’s a question that’s been running through my mind for quite a few weeks now which I thought I would put to you today.

What is happiness?

Please answer as I think it would good to see what everyone thinks. What does happiness mean to you? Is it in seeing others happy or making them happy by doing everything you can? Is it helping the world become a better place. Is it sharing your own happiness?

As you can see there’s many reasons but how often do we think deep enough to define happiness? For me happiness is inner peace and tranquillity which seems to elude me always.. that doesn’t mean I’m always grumpy, quite the opposite in fact but to truly reach that point where I can say I’m really happy is to truly have inner peace for myself. Be able to sleep easily without any worries or tensions.

So what does happiness really mean to you people?

5 things you need to start doing today to live a happier life

This is a guest post from Sharn Khaira.

It was 2.30am on a cold Thursday January morning. We received a call, the kind of call that I wouldn’t even wish upon even my greatest enemy.
The call was from India. My cousin who was just 37 years of age, married 4 years and a father of a 2 year old little girl had just died in his sleep. Just like that he was taken away from us in one split second. It’s a simple as that, one minute you’re here and the next minute you’re gone.
At first when I got woken up by my mum I thought she had mistaken my cousin for someone else. She knocked on my door in the middle of the night and looked shocked and upset, still coming to terms with what she had just heard. My heart beat so fast as I was trying to find out what the hell was going on. Nothing made sense. After all he was fit and healthy and had no health issues. I just couldn’t believe it. When she said those words out loud that he had passed away. I can’t describe to you the pain I felt. As if someone had literally ripped my heart out and split it into two. We were so close, spending each Christmas together when he lived in the UK. It felt like I was in some sort of sick nightmare. Myself and my mum sobbed inconsolably. Surely this couldn’t be true?
Oh it was. I rang India to find out for myself. My cousin picked up the phone and she was crying uncontrollably. I found out that he had died in his sleep with a brain haemorrhage, with his wife and daughter next to his side. She had no clue. He wasn’t even in any pain, he just slipped away peacefully to the heaven’s.
Ever since that day I have been questioning everything. My complete life. How I interact with people, how I live my life and who my friends and enemies are. Above all, what do I want out of my life? I’ve always known, and it’s been said time and time again that life is too short but if there was some sort of sick example I had definitely been shown it. Life really is too short. To think one day you won’t actually wake up, and this is true of everyone in the world.
Since that day I have been thinking that if tomorrow was my last day what regrets would I have? What would I do more of? Who would I have wanted to see more of? A few thoughts came to my mind.
I’m an ambitious entrepreneur and sometimes I get so bogged down in my demanding job and work schedule that I even get “too busy” to reply to a text to a loved one. Again because of my business I don’t spend near as much time as I should with my family and friends as I’m always “too busy” working. I become too obsessed with chasing the money/dollar trying to become successful and making a name for myself. I mean yes money is important but in the end we are going to the same place so we can’t take it with us.
The truth is in this 21st Century Britain us British Asians have just simply become “too busy”. Too busy with our kids, too busy with our career or too busy hustling. We just don’t seem to have enough time for our loved ones. But then isn’t that what life is about. Cherishing those beautiful moments with the people you love most?
Of course it is. But that sounds so simplistic. But it is simple. If you get rid of all the drama and negative energy that weighs you down, then life should be about that.
For that reason I have made 5 rules which I will try and abide by moving forward. Because if I do die tomorrow, I will have the least amount of regrets from my side:

1) Spend more time with your friends and family. Because in the end that’s what really matters. Try and see them at least every few months or what your schedule permits. It can be difficult with family that perhaps don’t live in the same city as you but make a conscious effort to see them or even pick up the phone.

2) Do more things that you LOVE. I don’t know about you but sometimes I just love doing nothing! Lounging around in my pj’s eating junk food and watching Sex and the City. Due to my tight work schedule and my side business I very rarely get to do this. But now I’ve realised it’s really important to do this at least once a month. I’ll sure be doing this in February!

3) Stop being a control freak. I’m an utter control freak. I have everything planned out so I know exactly what I’m doing and when I’m doing it. But with my cousin passing away I’ve realised that we DON’T have everything in control. Sure we can map out days and weeks but life is what happens when we’re busy making plans. Things aren’t in control so just relax.

4) Travel more. The world is such a big beautiful place. 7 continents, 196 countries and god knows how many languages. I think we do get bogged down in our little world in our tiny little city and forget that the world is a big place. I’m planning on doing lots more travelling this year to Europe. Take time out and experience the world, after all you only live once.

5) Work on being the best you can be. I’m unhappy with my weight. Always have been. Not that I’m obese or anything but I want a body that I’m proud of. That’s why I have decided I will get the body I WANT this year. I’m going to be working on being the best I can be so I have no regrets.
If there is anything you take from this post, make sure you have no regrets and live life to the fullest.
In the end, it’s not going to matter how many breaths you took, but how many moments took your breath away

- shing xiong

This post was written by Sharn Khaira, who has set up http://www.indian-connect.co.uk, an online community where Sikhs and Hindus from the UK can connect with each other.

Here There Everywhere

Where are you?
What are you doing?
How was your day?
Did you think of me?
Did I cross your mind?
Did your heart miss a beat?
Did you miss me?
Feel the despair?
The tug on your heart?
The pain?
The loneliness?
Did you squeeze your eyes close and shake your head? Trying to erase me from your mind.
From your heart.
I won’t go so easily you know that don’t you?
I’m there under your skin in your blood in your veins in your sweat in your head.
Im pouring out of you.
I dance in your heart.
Im running through every nerve in your body.
As if I’ve touched you and electric jolts pass through you. I’m there, there and there I’m everywhere and I’m not going anywhere….

My Heart An Enemy A terrorist!

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It’s amazing how time passes and in our hearts we are still standing still. Sometimes just waiting and hoping and sometimes simply because we can’t move on.

Wouldn’t it be great that when we make a decision in our heads which we know is right, our hearts would follow too?

It could be anything from simple matters to the affairs of the heart. I find myself in this turmoil many a time. Where my heart says something and my head is off in the opposite direction or vice versa.

Common sense prevails but the heart doesn’t understand this. It beats inside of me, it’s mines, yet it leads me into turmoil, heartache and pain. Very often I think my heart is my enemy, it goes against me on most decisions I make. When I let it have it’s own way it dances in my chest and beats a million beats to a minute. It won’t let me sleep eat or drink. It makes me goofy at times, speechless and very very dumb. Sometimes I think I’m flying, soaring above everything and everyone. No one can touch me I’m invincible. Or so I thought.

It’s almost like it’run out of petrol. Somewhere in your head there’s a voice telling you it’s not going to last very long. You will come down, you will crash, this dancing has to stop and sure enough it does.

It’s very painful knowing you knew better but followed your heart anyway. It’s excruciating trying to kick yourself for it but, no worries plenty of people around to do it for you. To remind you how incredibly dumb you are. The thing is, you knew it was the wrong way to go but, at this point it’s now irrelevant.

Nothing matters of what you knew because, if u didn’t have the power to not make irrational decisions then, where u going to find the power now to fix them or get over them?

All I can say is, there is no bigger terrorist in this world than your very own heart and if I didn’t need it so much I’d have shot it long ago.

Who are you really?

If we all could choose to be anyone we wanted to be who would we choose? Or what would we want to be? Or could we simply think “no this is who I am and I’m sticking with it!”

I recently came across something disturbing and realised that as much as we think we know someone how well do we know them? When we doubt their authenticity and its being denied do we trust our instincts or do we choose to trust the very person we doubt?

I think I knew from day one that all was not right. But decided to give the benefit of doubt. I didn’t really care to be honest. After all Internet friendships/relationships come with certain elements of fantasies and extravaganza. So what the hell if someone wants to pretend they are someone or something else.

But as time goes you get tired of the pretence. It gets to the stage you just want a little bit of genuineness and some honesty. For someone to just take your friendship seriously and respect you enough to reveal their true selves. To know and trust you when you say “I know, but it doesn’t matter, lets just be honest with one another”

Sadness is when they’re not ready or too scared to step out of the trap they find themselves in, to move into a genuine honest and unconditional friendship. What they don’t realise that eventually they too will tire of the pretence, lies, cover ups and fantasies and by then it will be too late they will have gone too far and too deep to turn back.

So what does that say about them or us? What sort of society do we live on where we fear to be ourselves and pretend to be someone else? Is it that we feel that we will only be accepted if we are beautiful/handsome, rich, desired or amazing?

I guess the Internet allows people to deal with insecurities in the worst way possible. Rather than trying to be ourselves many have found this medium to hide their true identities and live in a world that while appears fun and amazing you eventually realise its just a painful fantasy that will never come true and one u can never escape from. It’s heaven trapped in hell.